Wed March 15

This morning, Samuel & Andrew were talking about how cool it would be to have a time machine. Andrew said "Yeah, I'd want to go back & see how my mom died." This is one of the first comments he's made about her dying....and I found it odd that he didn't say 'I'd like to go back & save my mom from dying.' Anyway, he asked me a question or two about how she died, so I was as honest as I could be & explained her injuries to him. He took it very matter of factly & just moved on. I'm glad. I figure being up front about everything is the best way to handle things because if you remove all the mystery from it, it won't be scary. And like they always say, not knowing is harder than knowing. I think that holds true here. After we talked about Kelly's injuries, Andrew said he wanted to go see where the wreck happened.
Larry got home about 11:00 & we took off. We had to go pick up the girls (who all spent the night with my mom last night) and then headed to Palestine, where we visited with G at the jail. It was such a sad place to be. The tiny waiting room was crammed full of families with little bitty children. How awful that all these sweet kids are having to go there to visit a father/mother/sister/brother. A&K don't seem to grasp that this is really unusual. They were just excited to see their dad. It's funny how innocent children are & how they're proud of mom/dad no matter what they do or who they are. When I stepped into the visiting room, Kourtney was jumping up & down, pointing & saying "there's my dad! there's my dad!" as if she was pointing out a movie star. I'm glad that their relationship is still good & she's happy to see her dad, but at the same time, saddened that it has to be done this way. We only had a 30 minute visit & he spent most of that time talking to the kids.
When we left the jail, we went to the site of the wreck. The kids were all interested in the neon orange paint on the road marking where they van came to rest after the accident, the tree that was hit, the pine straw that is still bunched up in a little pile from where the tires landed. Larry asked the kids if they had any questions. Andrew didn't, but Kourtney said she did. Rather than a question, she went into a speech about how this was just an accident...that mommy & daddy loved her...and that her mommy is watching over her now. I guess she just felt the need to clarify all that for us. :)
Then we went to the cemetary to visit Kelly's grave. As we pulled into the cemetary, Kourtney said something & sounded like she was about to burst into tears, but she quickly perked back up & never cried. I'm still not really sure what it was she said, though. We pulled up right beside Kelly's grave & went over to sit on the ground beside it. The kids & I read the little grave marker & realized that tomorrow would've been her birthday. I think we're going to go get some balloons & release them. The kids want to send balloons to Heaven for mommy. Kourtney actually wants to get a BUNCH of balloons & attach a birthday cake to the bottom for mommy, but somehow I don't think we can get that many balloons! <giggle> We walked around the cemetary picking all the little wildflowers & put them onto Kelly's grave. We had to dispel the theory that if you step on a grave the person inside will come out & get you (not sure who told them that one!)....but we did tell them that it's not respectful to intentionally walk all over a grave, so they learned some cemetary etiquette today as well.
By the time we left the cemetary, we were all needing a little break from the emotion-filled things of the day, so we went over & spent some time at Larry's dad's house. The kids got a couple of more toys they'd left behind and we packed a big box full of movies that they'd left when they moved last month. (I made sure to LEAVE a few of the ones we picked through....sorry, guys.....no R-rated movies for the kiddies! Yikes!)
After our visit, we headed home. :::yawn::: It's been a long day.
On a sweet note, it's been really neat to see Andrew learning to love the Kids Praise music CD I got them. He loves the song "All the Earth Will Sing His Praises". I'm including the lyrics below (or as many as I can remember anyway!). Every time it comes on, he says "I love this song! Turn it up!"
I have to work tomorrow & the kids are on Spring Break, so mom is going to take Savannah & Kourtney to her house for the day and a friend from church is watching the boys for me. Sarah & I will have a Western Day at school (while we study Texas). Kourtney will start Mother's Day Out with us on Tuesday.
So there ya have it....our crazy day! Time to head to bed!
All the Earth Will Sing His Praises
Chorus: You lived. You died. You said in 3 days you would rise. You did. You're alive! You rose, you reign. You said you're coming back again. I know, you will, and all the earth will sing your praises. (drum solo) All the earth will sing your praises. (drums) All the earth will sing your praises.
You took, you take, our sins away, oh God. You give, you gave your life away for us. You came down, you saved us through the cross. Our lives are changed because of your sweet love.
Chorus

March 11 "Trust & Obey"

I am sorry that I haven't posted in several days. I've had some things on my mind & felt it best not to post while I was nervous & frustrated all at the same time. The things that were burdening me have passed....and while those things didn't turn out the way I hoped, I must trust that it's all part of God's plan for Andrew & Kourtney -- and all the rest of us!

Things have been busy, hectic, crazy, exhausting......and worthwhile. I won't candy-coat it....things around here are hard. Don't let anyone ever tell you that adding two new children (who aren't newborns) to a home is easy. It's not. But I'm so glad they're here! This coming week will make 1 month since they arrived in our home & in that short time, I have seen changes in all of us. Trying to get everyone to cooperate & not fight 24/7 is tough, but I keep reminding myself that we can't hold A&K to the same expectation as our own kids, because they're not our own and we haven't had the past 5-7 years to train them to live up to the expectations we have for our kids.

There are moments that I struggle to keep my focus on Christ and I find my fuse shortening, but God has been good in reminding me in that moment how much He loves me...and how strong He makes me.

Tonight, this song kept going through my mind, so I looked up the lyrics online. It's an old hymn, but certainly one that applies here. It is called "Trust and Obey". Hope you enjoy it.

Trust and Obey

When we walk with the Lord
In the light of His Word
What a glory He sheds on our way!
Let us do His good will;
He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Chorus: Trust and obey, For there's no other way, To be happy in Jesus, But to trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear,
Not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss,
Not a frown or a cross,
But is blest if we trust and obey.

Chorus

But we never can prove
The delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favour He shows
And the joy He bestows
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Chorus

Then in fellowship sweet
We will sit at His feet
Or we'll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do,
Where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Monday March 6

Tonight was another good bedtime. I layed down with Andrew to read his book for school and ended up reading a letter from G, too. We talked about the reality of dad being gone for a long time & how he'd always have a home here. We've talked about it before, but he seemed to really "get it" tonight. I asked him a lot of questions about his mom & dad---trying to bring up some memories so that he can work through all of that. He seemed shocked when I told him it has been almost a month since Kelly's death. He said it seemed like it had been a lot longer than that. He couldn't name any specific memories of his mom at first. I'm not sure if he's blocking things out right now or if he really has forgotten things. After talking a while, he could name a few things. I told him that he was going to have to help Kourtney remember her mom, because she's so young that I fear she will not have many memories of Kelly once she's grown. I asked if he thought he could write down some special memories of his mom in a journal if I get him one. He agreed to that. :) I figure that will serve more than one purpose.
Kourtney didn't want to go to school this morning, but I think I've found my "bribe". :) I told her that if she could go to school & behave sweetly all week at school, then we'd go to Dairy Queen on Fri afternoon & get an icecream cone. She seemed to like that idea! Her teacher told me today that she had a big grin on her face when she came in & that she'd been more pleasant today than usual! I guess it worked! :)
Sarah had another rough day today. Poor baby girl. I think Larry is going to come eat lunch with her at Mother's Day Out one day this week. She'll get a kick out of that! She's really taking all the adjustments hard. Please continue praying for her.

Bedtime is so rich!

I'm quickly learning that any real "deep" conversations I'm going to get out of Andrew & Kourtney are going to come at bedtime. The rest of the day I get little bits & pieces, but bedtime is where the gold lies. My bio kids tend to work that way, too, but I'm finding it to be especially true with these guys.
Tonight's bedtime conversation with Kourtney was about how she misses her mommy. Actually, in the past couple of days, she's saying "I miss my parents". I keep hugging her & telling her that I miss them, too. Poor baby....I think her grief is hitting & she's really beginning to struggle emotionally. However, she's also got a pretty strong wall up, so she's apt to "crack" very slowly. The best I can do is keep talking to her & reminding her how much her mommy loved her....and that she'll see her again in Heaven. This is really hard. Dealing with the death of a parent as an adult is hard enough, but a little child who can't fully grasp the finality of it all is very tough.
Tonight she wanted to see the picture I took of Kelly in the casket. I reminded her that this was the picture of mommy from the funeral home but she was ok with that. I think just seeing mama made her feel better. She was all grins when she saw the picture. She pointed out the things in the casket with her (pictures, a stuffed animal, etc) more than she pointed out mommy, though. She pointed to the picture of herself, Andrew & Kelly taken when she was about 2 (which was also placed in the casket with Kelly) and mentioned "this is when I was a baby". She sorta looked all AROUND her mother, but not directly at her. Still, in whatever way, it was a comfort to her to see that.
I've got some pictures that my MIL found for me of Kelly, G & the kids. I'm going to get those blown up on Wednesday -- one for each of the kids & will frame it for their bedside. I don't want them to ever, ever forget their mommy. I've also ordered them each a copy of the pictures from the funeral. I don't plan on giving those to them now. I'll save them for them to have later when they're older. Seeing it is one thing, but I can't imagine that it would be good for them to stare at it all the time. I can't imagine how it would be to lose my mom & then have little left to remember her by, so I think this is really important for them. I really need to get in touch with Kelly's family & have them mail us some pictures of Kelly for the kids to keep. They need those tangible reminders of who their mom was. Also, I need to check the library & bookstores for books for children about death. If the kids are on the brink of understanding all this & are going to be fully grieving soon, I want them to have books we can read together that are written for kids. Any suggestions, anyone?? I know Maria Shriver wrote one when her mom died for her own children.
The bedtime conversation with Andrew was also very sweet, but in a different way. I've come to realize that Andrew has a very strong "tough guy" front, but eeking out from behind the big shield of that "tough guy" is a tiny little boy who is frail & frightened, who desperately wants to just be a little kid. I think I saw a foot dipping into the waters tonight. There is some major spiritual warfare surrounding this little guy, so prayer warriors, get on the battle gear. He can take all the prayers you can shell out. (Really, Kourtney can too, but I see so much more war going on around this little guy right now!)
Andrew will use whatever means necessary to stay up as long as possible at night. He'll stall & ask for 40 drinks of water, wants you to read a thousand stories to him, etc.... Turns out, he's scared of the dark! The first night he was here, he practically made fun of Samuel for being scared of the dark....and now I find out that he is, too! Tonight, as I walked out of the girls' room after spending a lot of time w/ Kourtney, he asked me to come in & say bedtime prayers with him. I asked if he meant that he wanted me to listen while he prayed & he said something to the effect of "no, you know...I want you to help me say the prayers like Kourtney's doll says". {Kourtney has a little doll who says the "Now I lay me down to sleep..." prayer when you squeeze her hand.} I told him that you don't have to use special words or say it some fancy way...that you could just talk to God...you could even say "Hey, God! Whatcha' doin?". He thought that was the funniest thing ever. We talked about how David (in Psalms) sometimes said 'God, take this enemy of mine & rip his head off & stomp on it &throw it down the pits' {which I might add, he thought was reallyyyyy cool!} and sometimes he was on his knees begging for God's mercy....and other times, he couldn't praise God enough, thankful for how good God is. He thought that all sounded really neat, so we got out his Bible & read the 1st Psalm. I told him how Psalms is my favorite book of the Bible & how it had gotten me through some really tough times of my life.
Somehow, in all that talking, we got on the topic of Heaven. When I told him about the streets of gold & the mansions that God builds for us, he was intrigued. Hearing how God would take broken bodies & make them perfect really got his interest up. We talked about how people with wheelchairs would be able to run & dance & jump & his eyes got really wide. And then I told him that Jesus would come back one day & take everyone who believes in Him up to Heaven with Him. I told him how He'd take the bodies of everyone who's already died & fix their bodies to make them new again--to perfect them. He said "even my mommy's?". Yes, baby...even your mom's. He asked "well, then where is she now?". I told him that her spirit was already in Heaven with God...and that frankly, I was a little jealous....because she was already there with God. He thought the idea of never being sick or sad again was really neat. Then he got thoughtful & said "well, when my daddy dies, where will he go? up or down?". I told him that if daddy believes in God & has asked him to be his saviour, then he'd go to Heaven too. He said something like "...but daddy's in jail." Yes, baby, we can believe in God & still make mistakes....daddy made a mistake, so he has to spend some time in jail, but God still loves him very much! I think that whole concept blew him away---that we could screw up & God would still like us.
That was about the end of our conversation before he got distracted & wanted to talk about something really deep like the stripes on the sheet on the bunk above him (where Samuel was snoring). It was bedtime, so I said goodnight one last time & left him to fall asleep....and I can tell ya, it didn't take 5 minutes for him to be out like a light!
In typing all this, I'm reminded of my favorite Eli song---here are the words:
Eli -- The Lumber Song
Said a friend to a friend one day: There was a man who passed away. Saint Peter met him at the gate. Pete said: Walk with me if you will. I'll take you to the house you built. The man said I can't wait!
They passed a mansion made of stone, but with each new house he's shown, they get smaller by degrees. Stopped in front of a 2 room shack & Pete said "Hope you're happy with that". The man said "How can this be?" And Pete said:
CHORUS: That's all the lumber. That's all the lumber. That's all the lumber you sent. Looks like the builder, man He's got your number. That's all the lumber you sent.
Man didn't know what to say...poor guy was blown away & said You mean this is what I deserve? Pete said I'm afraid so...it's too late, but now you know. You shoulda done better work. He said: You mean not lie & cheat? Help old ladies across the street? And Pete said Well, that's a start. Remember that man back there in that great big house? Found out early what it's all about & built that place with his heart! As for you...
Chorus
What if that man was me? And all failed that miserably? Show me things I don't want to see!
St. Peter, if you can, send me back to earth again. Is that something you can do? Pete said: It ain't up to me, but if it was I'd like to see how you plan to improve. He said "I'd love God, fellow man, take my wife & make a stand...be the given'est guy I can be....and when I get back to this neighborhood, there'd be a gigantic pile of wood and I'd say "What's this I see?" and you'd tell me
That's all the lumber. All that's your lumber! That's all the lumber you sent. Well the big boss will help you hammer it all together. That's all the lumber you sent.

Wed Feb 22

Another day with these sweet babies....

Today was our ARD meeting with the school for Andrew. This special ed. stuff is all new to us, so I feel blessed to have great people in the school who are so concerned & want the best for Andrew, too. They are really working to get all the services he may need provided. The principal & counselor, I'm sure, will be invaluable friends to us this year! (& of course his teacher, too!)

After school this afternoon, Savannah saw her psychiatrist. I'm glad that this appointment was already set up & due to hit when it did. She really needed to talk all of this stuff out with him. He is such a great doctor, too, and was able to pull some things out of her that I haven't heard her mention before today. Anyway, I'm really glad that happened today. I took she & Sarah with me to see him while Larry took the middle three with him.

Several friends (& Savannah's doc) have recommended a particular play therapist to work with Andrew & Kourtney. We found out today that our insurance co. has officially approved them & they are now covered! (Major praise!) This means we can go ahead & get them in with the therapist ASAP and we can get them in with our pediatrician for check ups & such as needed.

Savannah & Andrew are both having trouble getting to sleep at night, so I checked w/ her doc today. He recommended getting a bottle of melatonin at the health food store. He said that there had actually been a recent study of melatonin in kids (which is rare) & that there was a "significant number of children in the study who had good results", so I think we're going to give it a try. It's just a synthetic form of the hormone your body already produces to help get to sleep. Can't hurt.

Tonight Kourtney talked a lot about her mom. She said she's had dreams about her, but I'm not sure if these were daydreams or night-time dreams. She says that in her dreams, "mama is on the side". I think she means that she just sees her sitting & watching her. We talked about how mommy was in Heaven & watching her from there. We talked about the verse in the Bible that talks about "all the saints in Heaven cheering & getting excited when one person (on earth) puts their faith in Christ" so that must mean that the people in Heaven have some way to see what's going on down here now & then. I told her she could pray & ask God to tell her mom that she misses her. When we talked about how she'd see her again in Heaven, she quickly shook her head no & said she didn't want to go to Heaven. Why not? "Because I'll have to die first." We talked about how you don't have to be afraid to die because Heaven is a really special place with Jesus. We talked about how everyone dies eventually when we get old. She was quick to point out "mama wasn't old". I agreed & told her that mommy died because she got hurt & sometimes that happens to people who aren't old. It's sad, but it does happen. We talked for a long time about all this.

Somewhere in the middle of our conversation, Andrew came in & asked me "Do I have to call you mom?". I told him he could call me whatever he wants to...but that he doesn't have to call me mom unless he really wants to. I reminded him that he has a mommy in Heaven & no one can replace her, but that I'd always love him & treat him as if he was my own little boy---even if I wasn't called "mom". He seemed happy with that answer & went back to his room.

I think that things are all slowly coming to a head with Andrew as far as emotions go. He seems a little more preoccupied & "off in his own world" in the late evenings these last couple of days. Just like Savannah zones out with books to retreat from things that make her worry, he zones out with his Gameboy or headphones (which means those are NOT things that we could ground him from if he gets in trouble--he really needs those as his own little therapy tools right now). When he's doing that, if anyone around him talks or makes much noise at all, he really flips out. He wants silence & peace around him when he's tuning things out. I have a feeling that means that he's getting closer to actually dealing with the pain of all that's going on. I feel so bad for him, but at the same time, I know it's a process he'll have to go through. It's so tragic that he has to deal with this stuff at all........but I'm glad that Larry & I can be there to help him through it. Poor baby!

Tonight at church, he went into Worship World (the children's church room) for the initial part of the Wed. evening activities, but just like he did at school, when they all went into the choir room, he got really nervous. He asked if he could just stand in the hall & watch, so the teachers let him. I came out of our room (right across the hall) at one point & found him standing in the hall watching the choir class. I know that despite his tough guy exterior, he's really a shy kid who's terrified of all the new things in his life right now. Heck, I'm 30 & the idea of that many things happening & changing in my life all at once would scare the beejeebers out of me, too! I'm sure that he'll warm up to the choir class & will probably be willing to go in next week. Keep that in your prayers. :)

Bedtime with Andrew tonight was very sweet again. When I was hugging everyone goodnight, he was laying on his back & held out his arms real wide as if to ask for a hug. I leaned down to hug him & as I did, he wrapped his arms & legs around me like a little monkey. I said "Hey, do I get a monkey hug tonight?" & he just giggled & said yes. So I plopped down with him giving him plenty of squeezes & started blowing raspberries on his cheek. He started laughing like crazy & acted so surprised by it. I asked if that was the first time anyone had ever done that & he said yes through the giggles, so I proceeded to give him "zerberts" all over his cheeks & shoulders. (Zerbert is what Bill Cosby called it on the Cosby show.) Honestly, I think it's the first time I've heard the kiddo giggle like that all week! Bedtime is growing on me.....I think it's my favorite time of day with the little man!

Praises: The insurance co. added the kids without questions! We got Andrew registered to play soccer today & seems really psyched about it. Art class is only a couple days away...he's so excited! Kourtney had a better time at school today (she's been saying that she didn't really want to go).

All in all, another great day!

Friday 2/17/06

Last night we set up the 2nd set of bunks in the girls' room. This morning, my mom & dad came over to help get the bedroom situated & cleaned up. What a HUGE help that was! Lots of sweat went into the room & I'm proud of how it's turned out! Thanks mama & daddy!!

My sister kept the kids today while we went to withdraw Andrew & Kourtney from school in Elkhart. I'm not sure what I expected, but I expected it to be harder than it was. Fortunately, when we walked in the door, the receptionist said something to the effect of "They're here to withdraw the kids." They knew we were coming & had been given a heads-up by Larry's dad, so they had every piece of paper we could possibly need sitting there ready. All we had to do was sign 1 piece of paper & we were done. Whew! We picked the kids up & took them on home. It was about 30 minutes early, but we figured we'd take them back to Larry's dad's house & spend a little time with them. It was fun to interact with the sweet kids & see how they like to spend their afternoons.

Kourtney & I went through their movies (they have a TON of them!) trying to decide which ones they want to bring with them. Pretty much everything they own is good stuff...only a few that I'll have to turn down if they show up with them. Hopefully it won't be an issue & they'll forget about those "if-fy" movies. Kourtney wanted to watch cartoons, so I plopped down onto the couch with her. They are allowed to watch one particular cartoon that we don't let our kids watch, but we sat there & watched it today. I figure "one last time" wouldn't hurt.

Andrew came in & was watching with us when an ad for a Spongebob movie came on. He said he wants to see it. It's supposed to come on in the theaters next week I think. He asked if we could go see it. We talked about how expensive it'll be to take 7 people to the movie & how we'd have to use it as a special treat now & then. He promptly ran off to bring in his piggy bank to see if he had enough money. What a sweetie! After counting his money with him, Larry played a couple hands of dominoes with him. He's a good kid!

When we left, they seemed really excited about moving in tomorrow. I'm encouraged by their behavior. In the past, they've been a little bitof a discipline problem, so it's good to see them acting so sweetly. That's not to say that we won't see any issues arise later, but for now, I'm encouraged!

The asst. principal was talking to the kids before they left today & asking who lives at their new house. They were all grins saying that they'd have "2 sisters & 1 brother". :) I almost cried hearing them call their cousins siblings!

God is just sooo good. He continues to astound me with the way He's encouraged me this past week. Last week in church, He showed me a vision of Andrew being baptised right there in our church's baptistry. I didn't mention it to Larry, but the following morning, Larry had the EXACT same vision! All throughout the week, He has provided meals, friends who called to love on us at just the right moment, music that has lifted me, hands to help with physical projects that needed to be done, etc. Tonight at Walmart, I bought a Nicole C. Mullin CD & was listening to it on the way home. As I listened (ok, well, let's be honest, I was squealing it at the top of my lungs), I couldn't help but cry the most profoundly intense tears of joy. My REDEEMER LIVES! As I cried, I was praying that God will help us teach these children, that He will give us supernatural strength, that He will show Himself to them immediately when they walk through our doors....and thanking Him for the oppurtunity to love my niece & nephew in such a special way!

Thank you Jesus! You are soooo good!

2/17/06

Last night we set up the 2nd set of bunks in the girls' room. This morning, my mom & dad came over to help get the bedroom situated & cleaned up. What a HUGE help that was! Lots of sweat went into the room & I'm proud of how it's turned out! Thanks mama & daddy!!

My sister kept the kids today while we went to withdraw Andrew & Kourtney from school in Elkhart. I'm not sure what I expected, but I expected it to be harder than it was. Fortunately, when we walked in the door, the receptionist said something to the effect of "They're here to withdraw the kids." They knew we were coming & had been given a heads-up by Larry's dad, so they had every piece of paper we could possibly need sitting there ready. All we had to do was sign 1 piece of paper & we were done. Whew! We picked the kids up & took them on home. It was about 30 minutes early, but we figured we'd take them back to Larry's dad's house & spend a little time with them. It was fun to interact with the sweet kids & see how they like to spend their afternoons.

Kourtney & I went through their movies (they have a TON of them!) trying to decide which ones they want to bring with them. Pretty much everything they own is good stuff...only a few that I'll have to turn down if they show up with them. Hopefully it won't be an issue & they'll forget about those "if-fy" movies. Kourtney wanted to watch cartoons, so I plopped down onto the couch with her. They are allowed to watch one particular cartoon that we don't let our kids watch, but we sat there & watched it today. I figure "one last time" wouldn't hurt.

Andrew came in & was watching with us when an ad for a Spongebob movie came on. He said he wants to see it. It's supposed to come on in the theaters next week I think. He asked if we could go see it. We talked about how expensive it'll be to take 7 people to the movie & how we'd have to use it as a special treat now & then. He promptly ran off to bring in his piggy bank to see if he had enough money. What a sweetie! After counting his money with him, Larry played a couple hands of dominoes with him. He's a good kid!

When we left, they seemed really excited about moving in tomorrow. I'm encouraged by their behavior. In the past, they've been a little bitof a discipline problem, so it's good to see them acting so sweetly. That's not to say that we won't see any issues arise later, but for now, I'm encouraged!

The asst. principal was talking to the kids before they left today & asking who lives at their new house. They were all grins saying that they'd have "2 sisters & 1 brother". :) I almost cried hearing them call their cousins siblings!

God is just sooo good. He continues to astound me with the way He's encouraged me this past week. Last week in church, He showed me a vision of Andrew being baptised right there in our church's baptistry. I didn't mention it to Larry, but the following morning, Larry had the EXACT same vision! All throughout the week, He has provided meals, friends who called to love on us at just the right moment, music that has lifted me, hands to help with physical projects that needed to be done, etc. Tonight at Walmart, I bought a Nicole C. Mullin CD & was listening to it on the way home. As I listened (ok, well, let's be honest, I was squealing it at the top of my lungs), I couldn't help but cry the most profoundly intense tears of joy. My REDEEMER LIVES! As I cried, I was praying that God will help us teach these children, that He will give us supernatural strength, that He will show Himself to them immediately when they walk through our doors....and thanking Him for the oppurtunity to love my niece & nephew in such a special way!

Thank you Jesus! You are soooo good!