Friday March 31--Rewards

So many people have patted us on the back & told us that we're saints or angels or something to that effect. My response to all of them is generally the same --- don't crown me yet! I hate that people are seeing Larry & I in this and not the Lord. If you heard a piano being played beautifully, would you go up & talk to the piano afterward, praising it for its wonderful music? Of course not! You'd praise the one who played the piano! Similar to that, please don't praise Larry & I for the "great thing" we're doing here; praise the One who gave us life....the One who gives us the strength to rise every morning & start another day.....the One who created these beautiful children we get to watch grow and change.

In Genesis 15:1, it says: 1 After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward."

Wow! Now THAT is the kind of reward I want! GOD is my very great reward! What better reward can we imagine??? I long for the day that I can reach out & touch His face, hug Him close, sit in His lap & have Him hold me close. What a joyful time that will be!

I was listening to a new Paul Baloche CD tonight & heard this song. I've enjoyed it for a long time, but hearing it tonight while pondering all of this brought it out in a new light to me.

My Reward

I want to hear You say the words to me "Well done". I want to hear you say "Good and faithful servant". I want to hear you say "I've prepared a place for you." Let all the treasures of this world fall away.

Chorus: Jesus, you are my reward! To hear Your voice on that day is all I'm living for. Jesus, you are my reward. To see your face on that day is all I'm living for.

In the twinkling of an eye, we'll all be changed! We'll meet You in the sky, we'll see you face to face!

Chorus

Jesus, all I'm living for. Jesus, all I'm living for.

This is so true! We are so unworthy of the praise we're receiving. The only one who deserves praise here is God Himself! If not for Christ, Larry & I wouldn't be able to pull this off. He is so good, so faithful, so sweet & tender, so intimate, so precious to us. It is our greatest prayer that Andrew & Kourtney, as well as our bio children (& all those reading this journal) would see God in our lives and honor Him for all He is!

Sat 3/25

Yesterday morning, Kourtney woke up & said her tummy hurt. No sooner had she swallowed a sip of milk than it came back up. She carried a big plastic bowl around the rest of the day, slept a lot & didn't each much of anything after that. The not eating at mealtime is definately unusual for her because she's usually a big eater. This morning (Sat), she turned down donuts for 1 piece of buttered toast. Hmm....something's definately up. I really believe it's a matter of her nerves getting to her because she continued to play yesterday & act normal....other than just looking sad. :(

Today will be very full. From 9:00-10:00am, we have Andrew's soccer game. Then we will run pick up our Angel Food (from Angel Food Ministries, if you don't know about it, ask me!), then we will run home, put the food in the freezer/fridge, eat a fast lunch, throw on Savannah's costume & get out the door. We have to be at the dance competition at 11:30. Luckily, however, it's next door at the High School, so we don't have far to go to get there! Her dance is at 12:30 & then she'll get an award & we'll come HOME! whew! By then, we'll all need a nap! This afternoon, all the kids want to ride bikes, so I'm sure we'll drag those out after naptime & everyone will play outside til supper/bathtime.

Pray for me today, as I'm doing this alone. Larry had signed up for a DivorceCare training session in Arlington months ago, so he'll be gone all day long today. They left the church parking lot at 5:30am!

Prayers Thurs 3/23

Tonight I felt the urging to begin praying for G specifically. I will be doing that in the coming days & urge you to join me.
And for all you prayer warriors out there who've asked for specific requests for the rest of us, here is an update:
Larry--- needs prayers for his physical health. His back is still giving him fits. He's had 2 (or 3?) epidural injections now without any real lasting relief. He's doing some chiropractic work now, but the chiro doc didn't seem to feel too promising about how much he could help. He may be headed to surgery, and while that's not the end of the world, we would like to avoid going under the knife if possible. Continue to pray for Larry as he deals with balancing work and home. He has been doing very well & not overdoing anything in any area, so I pray that this continues.
Savannah---needs prayer for compassion & patience & strength. She's doing really well with the adjustment to A&K's presence in our home, but the stress that she's been feeling has really brought out the worst in her tone of voice & words lately. I think this is just a matter of acting out due to the stress, so please bathe her heart and tongue in prayers.
Andrew---needs prayers as he will visit the therapist for the first time on Monday. Bind Satan from that counseling room, pray for God to give him a special openness with the therapist and a willingness to share things and start to work through the pain & struggles of this whole situation. Also, continue to pray for spiritual breakthroughs in Andrew's life. I think he's really "on the verge" and I know that having an intimacy with God could phenomenally & remarkably change who Andrew is & how he deals with things every day.
Samuel---needs prayers for protection of his heart. While he's always been more drawn to obvious, outward sins (while the girls tend toward the quiet, hidden ones), having a new "partner in crime" in the house hasn't helped any. We're working to teach Andrew the way we do things here & Samuel's struggling to keep the things he's learned from Andrew. Granted, nothing is horrible or vile.....but there are a few behaviors that I'd rather skip over entirely.
Kourtney---needs prayers to finally let down her guard & "get it all out". She's had several instances of almost bursting into tears (in sadness about her mom), but she always sucks it up at the last minute & doesn't let it out. I know that she really needs to grieve and I think that will start with an outpouring of tears & emotion. I hate to see her go through it, but I think it's necessary.
Sarah---needs continued prayers for her little wounded spirit. She is still feeling the brunt of "losing" some of mommy's time/energy. I've been making every effort to make sure that all the kids get some one on one attention....but she's just used to getting MORE of it. Today at school, she wanted to come sleep in my room so I let her. Once she gets that security thing going, she's fine...but she's still working through some hurt feelings here.
Me---I suppose I have to open myself up here, too, huh? Ok....I need prayers for my physical strength & energy levels & sleep habits. I haven't slept too normally in the past 6 weeks or so. Things seem to go in cycles of really rough days or really good ones. I'm grateful that the 'really good' ones are coming more & more frequently, but the tough ones seem to be REALLY tough. I guess I can see why some people numb their pain & struggles with alcohol or pills. I just use food myself. :) None of us have it all figured out & unless we leave the stress & struggles at the feet of Christ, we're not doing ourself any good worrying or partaking of our vice to try to comfort ourselves! Pray for me to quit seeking out another comfort measure...and to take it all straight to the throne and LEAVE it there.
THank you for your continued love, prayers & support. We appreciate it all!

Wed 3/22

The lyrics to a song we sing at church keep running through my mind this morning. I can't find the lyrics online, so we're going to have to go from memory here (yikes....kinda scary!). Hopefully I don't butcher it.

Will you worship?

Will you worship, will you bow down before the Lord & King? Will you love Him, will you give Him your heart, your everything?

Right here & now, I'm making my vow...and forever, I will worship you.

I will bow down. I will kneel down before the Lord & King. I will love you. I will give you my heart, my everything.

I can't help but think that God is asking us (& all the family involved here) "Will you worship?" even when it's not easy? And my answer to that is YES!

Growing & moving on....

This weekend we had a few "break through" moments with the kids.

On Saturday, Savannah really had a lot of questions for me about Andrew & Kourtney's past. I answered everything honestly & she cried in compassion for them. She knew why they were living here, but hearing some more about their lives up until now made her sad.....and gave her a more loving slant for them now.

Andrew & I talked on Saturday evening about his mom & dad. He got out his journal while we were talking & started drawing something. I left the room for him to go to bed with him still drawing. I went in later to turn off the lamp & found his journal on the bed beside him. He had drawn a car hitting a tree & titled it "Mom and dad crash". On another page, he had written something about how he & Kourtney were his mom's shining stars. :::sniff, sniff::: Progress in the grieving process.....sad, but oh so necessary.

Kourtney got a new bed this weekend! The little metal daybed we had when she got here was already wobbly & not too sturdy, so when it started coming apart in pieces, we decided it was time to get rid of it! She is soooo excited about her new wooden daybed. It's very pretty, too! I think that she is still a little stunned that we've bought new beds for both kids' rooms & have gotten her new clothes, etc.

I still wonder how much A&K "get" about their new home & family. I don't know how deeply they understand the permanence of this situation. Continue praying for their understanding in that.

At church last night, I noticed that Andrew was opening up a piece of paper he'd had in his pocket. It had a Bible verse written on it (his handwriting). It was a verse from Hebrews that says "He will never leave me". That about threw me into tears....whether he was instructed to write that down in SS class or if he wrote it down himself, he's writing it....and we all know that writing something helps to drive it into our brains! (& hopefully into our hearts!)

While seeing him with that paper, we were singing a song that seemed so incredibly significant. I love the song already, but in light of our new family situation, it was especially poignant at that moment. It is my prayer for all of my kids! Here are the lyrics to the chorus. God, help my babies all yearn for you!

yearn
by shane barnard

Chorus: Lord i want to yearn for You. i want to burn with passion over You and only You. Lord i want to yearn.

Wed March 15

This morning, Samuel & Andrew were talking about how cool it would be to have a time machine. Andrew said "Yeah, I'd want to go back & see how my mom died." This is one of the first comments he's made about her dying....and I found it odd that he didn't say 'I'd like to go back & save my mom from dying.' Anyway, he asked me a question or two about how she died, so I was as honest as I could be & explained her injuries to him. He took it very matter of factly & just moved on. I'm glad. I figure being up front about everything is the best way to handle things because if you remove all the mystery from it, it won't be scary. And like they always say, not knowing is harder than knowing. I think that holds true here. After we talked about Kelly's injuries, Andrew said he wanted to go see where the wreck happened.
Larry got home about 11:00 & we took off. We had to go pick up the girls (who all spent the night with my mom last night) and then headed to Palestine, where we visited with G at the jail. It was such a sad place to be. The tiny waiting room was crammed full of families with little bitty children. How awful that all these sweet kids are having to go there to visit a father/mother/sister/brother. A&K don't seem to grasp that this is really unusual. They were just excited to see their dad. It's funny how innocent children are & how they're proud of mom/dad no matter what they do or who they are. When I stepped into the visiting room, Kourtney was jumping up & down, pointing & saying "there's my dad! there's my dad!" as if she was pointing out a movie star. I'm glad that their relationship is still good & she's happy to see her dad, but at the same time, saddened that it has to be done this way. We only had a 30 minute visit & he spent most of that time talking to the kids.
When we left the jail, we went to the site of the wreck. The kids were all interested in the neon orange paint on the road marking where they van came to rest after the accident, the tree that was hit, the pine straw that is still bunched up in a little pile from where the tires landed. Larry asked the kids if they had any questions. Andrew didn't, but Kourtney said she did. Rather than a question, she went into a speech about how this was just an accident...that mommy & daddy loved her...and that her mommy is watching over her now. I guess she just felt the need to clarify all that for us. :)
Then we went to the cemetary to visit Kelly's grave. As we pulled into the cemetary, Kourtney said something & sounded like she was about to burst into tears, but she quickly perked back up & never cried. I'm still not really sure what it was she said, though. We pulled up right beside Kelly's grave & went over to sit on the ground beside it. The kids & I read the little grave marker & realized that tomorrow would've been her birthday. I think we're going to go get some balloons & release them. The kids want to send balloons to Heaven for mommy. Kourtney actually wants to get a BUNCH of balloons & attach a birthday cake to the bottom for mommy, but somehow I don't think we can get that many balloons! <giggle> We walked around the cemetary picking all the little wildflowers & put them onto Kelly's grave. We had to dispel the theory that if you step on a grave the person inside will come out & get you (not sure who told them that one!)....but we did tell them that it's not respectful to intentionally walk all over a grave, so they learned some cemetary etiquette today as well.
By the time we left the cemetary, we were all needing a little break from the emotion-filled things of the day, so we went over & spent some time at Larry's dad's house. The kids got a couple of more toys they'd left behind and we packed a big box full of movies that they'd left when they moved last month. (I made sure to LEAVE a few of the ones we picked through....sorry, guys.....no R-rated movies for the kiddies! Yikes!)
After our visit, we headed home. :::yawn::: It's been a long day.
On a sweet note, it's been really neat to see Andrew learning to love the Kids Praise music CD I got them. He loves the song "All the Earth Will Sing His Praises". I'm including the lyrics below (or as many as I can remember anyway!). Every time it comes on, he says "I love this song! Turn it up!"
I have to work tomorrow & the kids are on Spring Break, so mom is going to take Savannah & Kourtney to her house for the day and a friend from church is watching the boys for me. Sarah & I will have a Western Day at school (while we study Texas). Kourtney will start Mother's Day Out with us on Tuesday.
So there ya have it....our crazy day! Time to head to bed!
All the Earth Will Sing His Praises
Chorus: You lived. You died. You said in 3 days you would rise. You did. You're alive! You rose, you reign. You said you're coming back again. I know, you will, and all the earth will sing your praises. (drum solo) All the earth will sing your praises. (drums) All the earth will sing your praises.
You took, you take, our sins away, oh God. You give, you gave your life away for us. You came down, you saved us through the cross. Our lives are changed because of your sweet love.
Chorus

March 11 "Trust & Obey"

I am sorry that I haven't posted in several days. I've had some things on my mind & felt it best not to post while I was nervous & frustrated all at the same time. The things that were burdening me have passed....and while those things didn't turn out the way I hoped, I must trust that it's all part of God's plan for Andrew & Kourtney -- and all the rest of us!

Things have been busy, hectic, crazy, exhausting......and worthwhile. I won't candy-coat it....things around here are hard. Don't let anyone ever tell you that adding two new children (who aren't newborns) to a home is easy. It's not. But I'm so glad they're here! This coming week will make 1 month since they arrived in our home & in that short time, I have seen changes in all of us. Trying to get everyone to cooperate & not fight 24/7 is tough, but I keep reminding myself that we can't hold A&K to the same expectation as our own kids, because they're not our own and we haven't had the past 5-7 years to train them to live up to the expectations we have for our kids.

There are moments that I struggle to keep my focus on Christ and I find my fuse shortening, but God has been good in reminding me in that moment how much He loves me...and how strong He makes me.

Tonight, this song kept going through my mind, so I looked up the lyrics online. It's an old hymn, but certainly one that applies here. It is called "Trust and Obey". Hope you enjoy it.

Trust and Obey

When we walk with the Lord
In the light of His Word
What a glory He sheds on our way!
Let us do His good will;
He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.

Chorus: Trust and obey, For there's no other way, To be happy in Jesus, But to trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear,
Not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss,
Not a frown or a cross,
But is blest if we trust and obey.

Chorus

But we never can prove
The delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favour He shows
And the joy He bestows
Are for them who will trust and obey.

Chorus

Then in fellowship sweet
We will sit at His feet
Or we'll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do,
Where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.

Sunday March 5

These first two weeks have been good. While there are challenging moments that make me sigh & some that make me want to scream, we've been blessed with an abundance of awesome moments that have made it all soooooooo worth while.

On the night that A & K arrived, I was totally blown away. The exhaustion I felt that first night knocked me off my feet at 10pm & I slept like a log. The emotional rollercoaster that I felt like we'd spent the prior week riding had finally slowed down long enough for me to put on my seatbelt & get a firm grip.... and boy what a ride it's been ever since.

These days, I find that things are no more complicated or crazy than they were with 3 kids. I mean, the same struggles exist---getting rooms cleaned, sibling rivalry, sharing toys, the usual stuff. I feel like the kids have already molded themselves into our little family & are a part of us so completely. These sweet little ones are so flexible & willing to go with us, do with us...whatever we need to do, they're right there with us, anxious to fit right into the family. It's almost like they are made of clay---fitting the form & molding right into the group so smoothly. :)

The oldest of my brood, Savannah, is doing well. She's had several breakdowns since A&K arrived, but is doing well overall. She's learning compassion & understanding and is having fun with another brother. She & Andrew are best buddies most of the time. On Friday night, she spent the night with a friend. The rest of the crew spent the night in one room (our usual Friday night "party" over here!). When Andrew realized that Savannah was not going to be there w/ him, he said "It's just not as much fun without Savannah." She is well-loved and honored as the oldest "smartest" one. Everyone loves for Savannah to read them stories and play with them.

The second oldest of our crew, Andrew, is doing really well. The longer he's here, the more the walls fall down. I'm seeing a child emerge from behind the big tough guy walls. Last night I saw him cry for the first time. He was playing with one of my little hand-held weights that I use to work out & dropped it on his finger. OUCH! Two weeks ago, I suspect he would've sucked up the tears & acted like a soldier...but last night, he was a little boy! He came & snuggled in my lap, let me kiss his booboo & was able to be a little kid. What a blessing! I pray that those walls continue to fall. He's doing well in school, making friends and generally enjoying himself. I asked him tonight if he liked living here--and made sure to tell him that he could be honest if he didn't like it. He grinned from ear to ear, yanked me down beside him with a big hug & said "Yes! Yes! I love it here!". I'm so glad.....I love having him here, too!

Next in line is Mr. Samuel. Sambo has been so easy-going about all of this. Having a brother to make those nice armpit-farting noises with is his idea of paradise. (I'm so proud.....Savannah can do it, too.) Samuel has loved sharing a room with Andrew, but thinks that Kourtney is a bratty girl. Of course, he thinks that about Savannah & Sarah too. Only in the past week have I seen Samuel start to fuss about "having" to share his room. He doesn't so much mind Andrew being there...but he wants his bed! ha!

Miss Kourtney continues to do very well, too. She still says that she doesn't like school & wants to stay at home, though. When she moved in we felt like it was best for her to continue in Pre-K since that's what she was already doing....but I hate making her go now that she's saying she wants to stay home with Sarah & I. Considering that they only have 2 months to go and Sarah is needing some private mommy time, I guess I'll let her finish out the year, but I suspect I will continue to hear complaints. :( Her teacher says she is very pleasant & has many friends and she's doing great in school....so maybe she's fine once she gets there. Last week she made up a story to tell her class about what happened to her mom. Of course, what she made up with a million times worse than the truth. I didn't know what was going on in her little mind until the teacher told me what she'd said. Yikes! We talked about it & as it turns out, she doesn't want to discuss the true story at school, so she made up something that, to her, was better than the truth. We made sure to help her understand that if she doesn't want to talk about it, she can just say so....but making up stories isn't ok. She seems to get that now. I've noticed that Kourtney has a vivid imagination & makes up a lot of stories--- someone hit her (but they weren't in the room at the time!)...someone took her toy (but she's still holding it)....things like that. I think that she's dealing with things slowly & part of her adjusting to a new home/siblings/family is trying to figure out where her "place" is in this group. Poor kiddo has a lot of "new" to adjust to!

And last is Miss Sarah. Sarah has probably had the hardest time (of my bio 3) adjusting to all of this. Before A&K arrived, she was already feeling a shift of my attention & started regressing into whining & crying (loudly!) over things. She wants to make sure that I don't forget her, so she's throwing huge fits over the smallest thing. If she can't find her shoes, oh the waterworks.......... if she can't get a shirt off, oh my gosh, warn the ambulance crews.......you get the idea. You'd think, by the size of her tears, that she's been abused & forgotten about. I've made it my goal to spend as much of my Mon/Wed/Fri days off with her as possible. Of course, I still have dishes & laundry & vacuuming & errands & such to do........but I'm trying to take her to a special lunch every Friday and spend lots of time playing games with her and coloring pictures together, etc. With the increased focused attention, she's starting to move back in the direction of my "old Sarah". She is such a precious sweetie....I hate to see her feeling like we've forgotten her.

As for Larry & I, we're doing ok. Larry has really stepped up & begun helping me out more at home. It's not uncommon to see him working on a load of laundry before he leaves for work in the morning or emptying the dishwasher when he comes home or overseeing a shower in the bathroom at night. Good daddy! I'm doing alright, too. The initial adjustment phase seems to have passed & things are getting back to normal now. That's not to say that we were ever really normal anyway (ha ha!), but things are moving in the right direction....and that is good.

Galatians 6:9 "Do not grow weary in doing what is right, for at the proper time, you will reap the harvest if you don't give up."

Matthew 11:28 & 30 "Come to me all who labor and are heavily burdened & I will give you rest......for my yoke is easy & my burden is light."

Luke 18:17 "Suffer not the little children....let them come unto me."

Hebrews 10:25 "Don't forsake the gathering together with believers."

Having a great family of believers surrounding us on all sides is such a blessing. Thank you for your continued prayers and all the encouragement you offer us each time we're with you. It is not going unnoticed!

For those of you who've asked for specific prayer requests, here ya go.

For Savannah--continued understanding of the task we've taken on as a family and the compassion to help us in this journey.

For Andrew--he appears to be very close to a deeper understanding of God's love for him. Please pray that he will go beyond that simple understanding to a full relationship with Christ. Pray for him to reach a place where he can really mourn his mom's death and the "loss" of his dad. He will answer questions about it now if he's asked but doesn't volunteer the conversation.

For Samuel--to continue being flexible & loving with his new siblings.

For Kourtney--to grow to enjoy school.

For Sarah--greater understanding of the circumstances and to "grow" back to the place she was before.

For Larry & I-- to be able to continue ministering at Rose Heights as effectively as we did prior to our new family changes and to assimilate the kids into that lifestyle easily. For continued strength & boldness every day.

When I Call on Jesus....

While praying for the kids this afternoon, I was listening to Nicole Mullen's song "When I Call on Jesus". The chorus really struck me & I pray that the kids (all of 'em!) learn this from Larry & I:

"When I call on Jesus, all things are possible! I can mount on wings like eagles & soar. When I call on Jesus, mountains are gonna move. 'Cause He'll move Heaven & earth, to come rescue me when I call!"

Investment

God keeps giving me this word in relation to the kiddos -- investment. And I don't think He's talking about the financial kind, although that certainly applies here, too.

In talking to my mom today about Andrew & Kourtney, I was saying how anyone who keeps the kids for us can't just babysit. They really must train the kids, teach them, spend time sitting & playing games, reading to them. It's almost like having a newborn in the house again, going through all the basic rules of the house & teaching them our beliefs and values. They're learning manners & respect for our home and the stuff and people in it. Above all of that, I pray that they're learning that God loves them. That He longs to be their closest friend, that He cares for them more than any person on earth ever has. I want them to see HIM instead of ME. I want them to learn that God thinks they are the most precious thing in the world! That He has made the biggest investment in them of all!

I pray that A & K find the investments that we're making to be reflections of Jesus. That nothing we're doing is to drive them crazy or be mean....but that we're trying to build Godly character in each of them. I know that, years from now, they will. They're such sweet kids, so flexible & teachable.

God, thank you for the investment you made for my sake....and the sake of ALL my kids.

Give thanks to the Lord....His love endures!

With each passing day, I'm finding new ways to praise Him for all He's doing & how active His hand is in all of this! Gosh, God's good! The communion with our Father is so sweet... being on the lookout for ways to say "Well, there He is again!" is fun!

1. Today we received another Walmart gift card. This one came from an email loop I've been a part of off & on for the past several years. You Savvy SAHMs are sweeties! Thank you! Miss Kourtney will get a bunch of spring clothes because of you ladies! :)

2. God protected A & K from the stomach bug we all passed around this weekend! I was really dreading the possibility that one of them might get it. Andrew's had a stuffy nose ever since he got here, but doesn't appear to be bothered by it. I think it's just allergies.

3. Big praise--Andrew went to choir tonight & sang!!!! He told me that he was going to just go stand in the hall & watch through the doorway again, but he actually went in! I went to the restroom during class tonight & passed by to check on him & found him in with the rest of the group on the stage, practicing their song! They have a little mini-concert on Sunday during the preschool kids' promotion ceremony so he'll get to sing for Kourtney's promotion. I'll take pictures! He was pretty proud of himself, too. He made sure to tell me tonight that he'd need to wear a certain color shirt on Sunday for the concert. Oh....and he has a school program later this month that he's getting excited about, too! They have a program where they sing for the parents & then Open House is afterward.

4. Kourtney had a screening at school today to see if she's doing ok academically. I had worried that she might be a little behind, but according to her test today, she is doing just fine. That's good to know! :)

5. Andrew starts soccer on Saturday & will play for several weeks w/ the YMCA. Larry will take him tomorrow afternoon to find shin guards & shorts for the big day.

God is just so good......I can't get enough of Him! :)

Bedtime is so rich!

I'm quickly learning that any real "deep" conversations I'm going to get out of Andrew & Kourtney are going to come at bedtime. The rest of the day I get little bits & pieces, but bedtime is where the gold lies. My bio kids tend to work that way, too, but I'm finding it to be especially true with these guys.
Tonight's bedtime conversation with Kourtney was about how she misses her mommy. Actually, in the past couple of days, she's saying "I miss my parents". I keep hugging her & telling her that I miss them, too. Poor baby....I think her grief is hitting & she's really beginning to struggle emotionally. However, she's also got a pretty strong wall up, so she's apt to "crack" very slowly. The best I can do is keep talking to her & reminding her how much her mommy loved her....and that she'll see her again in Heaven. This is really hard. Dealing with the death of a parent as an adult is hard enough, but a little child who can't fully grasp the finality of it all is very tough.
Tonight she wanted to see the picture I took of Kelly in the casket. I reminded her that this was the picture of mommy from the funeral home but she was ok with that. I think just seeing mama made her feel better. She was all grins when she saw the picture. She pointed out the things in the casket with her (pictures, a stuffed animal, etc) more than she pointed out mommy, though. She pointed to the picture of herself, Andrew & Kelly taken when she was about 2 (which was also placed in the casket with Kelly) and mentioned "this is when I was a baby". She sorta looked all AROUND her mother, but not directly at her. Still, in whatever way, it was a comfort to her to see that.
I've got some pictures that my MIL found for me of Kelly, G & the kids. I'm going to get those blown up on Wednesday -- one for each of the kids & will frame it for their bedside. I don't want them to ever, ever forget their mommy. I've also ordered them each a copy of the pictures from the funeral. I don't plan on giving those to them now. I'll save them for them to have later when they're older. Seeing it is one thing, but I can't imagine that it would be good for them to stare at it all the time. I can't imagine how it would be to lose my mom & then have little left to remember her by, so I think this is really important for them. I really need to get in touch with Kelly's family & have them mail us some pictures of Kelly for the kids to keep. They need those tangible reminders of who their mom was. Also, I need to check the library & bookstores for books for children about death. If the kids are on the brink of understanding all this & are going to be fully grieving soon, I want them to have books we can read together that are written for kids. Any suggestions, anyone?? I know Maria Shriver wrote one when her mom died for her own children.
The bedtime conversation with Andrew was also very sweet, but in a different way. I've come to realize that Andrew has a very strong "tough guy" front, but eeking out from behind the big shield of that "tough guy" is a tiny little boy who is frail & frightened, who desperately wants to just be a little kid. I think I saw a foot dipping into the waters tonight. There is some major spiritual warfare surrounding this little guy, so prayer warriors, get on the battle gear. He can take all the prayers you can shell out. (Really, Kourtney can too, but I see so much more war going on around this little guy right now!)
Andrew will use whatever means necessary to stay up as long as possible at night. He'll stall & ask for 40 drinks of water, wants you to read a thousand stories to him, etc.... Turns out, he's scared of the dark! The first night he was here, he practically made fun of Samuel for being scared of the dark....and now I find out that he is, too! Tonight, as I walked out of the girls' room after spending a lot of time w/ Kourtney, he asked me to come in & say bedtime prayers with him. I asked if he meant that he wanted me to listen while he prayed & he said something to the effect of "no, you know...I want you to help me say the prayers like Kourtney's doll says". {Kourtney has a little doll who says the "Now I lay me down to sleep..." prayer when you squeeze her hand.} I told him that you don't have to use special words or say it some fancy way...that you could just talk to God...you could even say "Hey, God! Whatcha' doin?". He thought that was the funniest thing ever. We talked about how David (in Psalms) sometimes said 'God, take this enemy of mine & rip his head off & stomp on it &throw it down the pits' {which I might add, he thought was reallyyyyy cool!} and sometimes he was on his knees begging for God's mercy....and other times, he couldn't praise God enough, thankful for how good God is. He thought that all sounded really neat, so we got out his Bible & read the 1st Psalm. I told him how Psalms is my favorite book of the Bible & how it had gotten me through some really tough times of my life.
Somehow, in all that talking, we got on the topic of Heaven. When I told him about the streets of gold & the mansions that God builds for us, he was intrigued. Hearing how God would take broken bodies & make them perfect really got his interest up. We talked about how people with wheelchairs would be able to run & dance & jump & his eyes got really wide. And then I told him that Jesus would come back one day & take everyone who believes in Him up to Heaven with Him. I told him how He'd take the bodies of everyone who's already died & fix their bodies to make them new again--to perfect them. He said "even my mommy's?". Yes, baby...even your mom's. He asked "well, then where is she now?". I told him that her spirit was already in Heaven with God...and that frankly, I was a little jealous....because she was already there with God. He thought the idea of never being sick or sad again was really neat. Then he got thoughtful & said "well, when my daddy dies, where will he go? up or down?". I told him that if daddy believes in God & has asked him to be his saviour, then he'd go to Heaven too. He said something like "...but daddy's in jail." Yes, baby, we can believe in God & still make mistakes....daddy made a mistake, so he has to spend some time in jail, but God still loves him very much! I think that whole concept blew him away---that we could screw up & God would still like us.
That was about the end of our conversation before he got distracted & wanted to talk about something really deep like the stripes on the sheet on the bunk above him (where Samuel was snoring). It was bedtime, so I said goodnight one last time & left him to fall asleep....and I can tell ya, it didn't take 5 minutes for him to be out like a light!
In typing all this, I'm reminded of my favorite Eli song---here are the words:
Eli -- The Lumber Song
Said a friend to a friend one day: There was a man who passed away. Saint Peter met him at the gate. Pete said: Walk with me if you will. I'll take you to the house you built. The man said I can't wait!
They passed a mansion made of stone, but with each new house he's shown, they get smaller by degrees. Stopped in front of a 2 room shack & Pete said "Hope you're happy with that". The man said "How can this be?" And Pete said:
CHORUS: That's all the lumber. That's all the lumber. That's all the lumber you sent. Looks like the builder, man He's got your number. That's all the lumber you sent.
Man didn't know what to say...poor guy was blown away & said You mean this is what I deserve? Pete said I'm afraid so...it's too late, but now you know. You shoulda done better work. He said: You mean not lie & cheat? Help old ladies across the street? And Pete said Well, that's a start. Remember that man back there in that great big house? Found out early what it's all about & built that place with his heart! As for you...
Chorus
What if that man was me? And all failed that miserably? Show me things I don't want to see!
St. Peter, if you can, send me back to earth again. Is that something you can do? Pete said: It ain't up to me, but if it was I'd like to see how you plan to improve. He said "I'd love God, fellow man, take my wife & make a stand...be the given'est guy I can be....and when I get back to this neighborhood, there'd be a gigantic pile of wood and I'd say "What's this I see?" and you'd tell me
That's all the lumber. All that's your lumber! That's all the lumber you sent. Well the big boss will help you hammer it all together. That's all the lumber you sent.

Whew...what a weekend!

Let's see...to recap--- Savannah had the tummy bug Thurs night/Fri morning. Then I got it Sat night, then Sarah had a little touch of it Sun afternoon. In the middle of all that, Larry & Samuel got upper respiratory stuff & are on med's for that. Needless to say, our weekend wasn't all that fun. :(

This morning we took Andrew & Kourtney to see their new pediatrician (the ones our bio kids see) for a basic well-child visit. Everyone's healthy. Kourtney did notttttttt like getting shots or the finger poke. Now, I don't like it either, but boy did she not like it.....and I think most of the folks in the next building over knew she didn't like it, too. :(

Kourtney's still saying that she doesn't want to go to school every day. I hate to make her go, knowing that she doesn't want to be there, but she always seems to have fun & ends up coming home with a grin. Andrew seems to be settling in well with his class & appears to have fun at school.

I can't remember if I covered this in Friday's entry, but we have got the kids in with a local play therapist, but her first opening isn't for almost a month, so it'll be a little while before they see her. I've heard lots of good things about this lady, though, so I figure it'll be worth the wait.

I am a firm believer in the old "garbage in-garbage out" saying. Over the past few years, I've grown accustomed to only listening to Christian radio stations for this reason. I do occasionally come across another station that I listen to for a while, but usually the stop on that station is short-lived because I just don't enjoy it much anymore. I've bought the kids tapes of kids praise music in the past, but since getting our new van that only takes CDs, I was at a loss for something to play. This weekend while I was grocery shopping, I got a new Kids Ultimate Modern Worship (or something like that?) CD. Since that shopping trip, that's all that we've listened to in the van. It's neat to peek into the rearview mirror & see the kids all listening, mouthing the words & dancing along.

At church yesterday morning, Andrew went forward during children's church when they were doing an altar call for salvation. After talking to him about it, he says that he "does that now & then"......so I'm not sure that he has a grasp on what he did, but just knowing that we're leaning him in the right direction is really sweet!

I better run. Lots & lots of dishes & laundry to catch up on. Keep praying....we're making headway! :)

Friday 2/24/06

Last night was rough. Savannah woke up about 11:30 throwing up & then proceeded to do it every 30 minutes or so throughout the rest of the night. Poor baby girl! I sure hope no one else catches it! I spent most of today holding a trashbag for her & Lysoling the house like crazy. So far, no one else seems sick.....

We went to see the doc this morning for Sarah's 5yr old check up & ear re-check (she had an infection about 2 weeks ago). Apparently she still has the chronic fluid build up (which she's had most of her life) but it's no longer infected. Whew!

Samuel said he didn't really want to go to school this morning (claiming illness) but I think he's fine. He went on to school & made it through the whole day, then came home giggly & bouncing. I bet he's ok!

Andrew had a good day. This afternoon was his first art class. He loved it! Miss Jan (our friend from church, the teacher) said he did really well. I'm still amazed at the blessings God is providing, like this art class. Truely a work of the Lord....for her to feel the Spirit telling her to give Andrew art classes....for me to have just found out 24 hours prior from a friend who worked at his old school that he really loves art.....wow. God is good. He takes care of all the details, doesn't he?

Kourtney is...well, Kourtney. She is pretty much perpetually happy & smiling. I've only seen her sad/mad/upset/whatever a couple of times since she got here. It's hard to wipe the grin off her face. Thank you, Father, for the sweet spirit of this little gal. :)

Thursday 2/23/06

I feel like a broken record here....each day is a little better than the last. Honestly, we're soo loving having the kids here. Yes, it's challenging....yes, it's really loud (ha ha!)....but still, soooo worth it.

Seeing the tough guy walls coming down with Andrew & seeing a little boy peek out from behind his shell is really a blessing to watch. Although he still wants to be the big man, it's interesting to see little boy habits & mannerisms & questions & fears come out. Kourtney continues to mention mama & her old school and all the things she misses. Although she mentions those things in passing, she never really dwells on them as if she is super sad. She moves on quickly & giggles a lot.

The kids got letters from their dad today. Kourtney liked hearing me read it to her & quickly folded it up to go hide it. When I went to tuck her into bed tonight, she was sleeping with it. Andrew took a long time to sit & really absorb his letter & seemed to be deep in thought afterward. He, too, seems to really treasure the paper that his dad touched. I told both of the kids that they could write their dad a letter this weekend & we'd put them into 1 big envelope & send it. Kourtney quickly produced one that she'd written at school today! Looks like she was already thinking of doing it!

Andrew taught Samuel to play checkers today (sort of)....Samuel was really grouchy & whiney all afternoon, so he wasn't much fun to play anything with. He told me, as I tucked him in tonight, that he didn't feel good. Gosh I hope he's not coming down with something! (I don't have time for an illness right now!!!)

Andrew asked for a journal tonight. We talked about how it might help him fall asleep to be able to write down what he's thinking/feeling when he's lying there wide awake. He seemed to like the idea.

I am strengthened by this verse right now: "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you & not to bring you harm, plans of hope & a future. Jeremiah 29:11" Thank you God for sharing that verse with me right now. You are a God of details & a God of compassion. Your heart is revealed to me through your scriptures & I know that this is a verse you'd have me pray for the kids right now tonight. I know that these sweet babies have a future in you & hope in your presence with them. Lord, keep them safe from harm, keep them near us for as long as possible. I love you Lord.

I feel led to sing this song as I type, so I'll share the words: I love you Lord...and I lift my voice...to worship you, Oh my soul, rejoice. Take joy, my King, in what you hear. Let it be a sweet, sweet sound, in your ear.

Wed Feb 22

Another day with these sweet babies....

Today was our ARD meeting with the school for Andrew. This special ed. stuff is all new to us, so I feel blessed to have great people in the school who are so concerned & want the best for Andrew, too. They are really working to get all the services he may need provided. The principal & counselor, I'm sure, will be invaluable friends to us this year! (& of course his teacher, too!)

After school this afternoon, Savannah saw her psychiatrist. I'm glad that this appointment was already set up & due to hit when it did. She really needed to talk all of this stuff out with him. He is such a great doctor, too, and was able to pull some things out of her that I haven't heard her mention before today. Anyway, I'm really glad that happened today. I took she & Sarah with me to see him while Larry took the middle three with him.

Several friends (& Savannah's doc) have recommended a particular play therapist to work with Andrew & Kourtney. We found out today that our insurance co. has officially approved them & they are now covered! (Major praise!) This means we can go ahead & get them in with the therapist ASAP and we can get them in with our pediatrician for check ups & such as needed.

Savannah & Andrew are both having trouble getting to sleep at night, so I checked w/ her doc today. He recommended getting a bottle of melatonin at the health food store. He said that there had actually been a recent study of melatonin in kids (which is rare) & that there was a "significant number of children in the study who had good results", so I think we're going to give it a try. It's just a synthetic form of the hormone your body already produces to help get to sleep. Can't hurt.

Tonight Kourtney talked a lot about her mom. She said she's had dreams about her, but I'm not sure if these were daydreams or night-time dreams. She says that in her dreams, "mama is on the side". I think she means that she just sees her sitting & watching her. We talked about how mommy was in Heaven & watching her from there. We talked about the verse in the Bible that talks about "all the saints in Heaven cheering & getting excited when one person (on earth) puts their faith in Christ" so that must mean that the people in Heaven have some way to see what's going on down here now & then. I told her she could pray & ask God to tell her mom that she misses her. When we talked about how she'd see her again in Heaven, she quickly shook her head no & said she didn't want to go to Heaven. Why not? "Because I'll have to die first." We talked about how you don't have to be afraid to die because Heaven is a really special place with Jesus. We talked about how everyone dies eventually when we get old. She was quick to point out "mama wasn't old". I agreed & told her that mommy died because she got hurt & sometimes that happens to people who aren't old. It's sad, but it does happen. We talked for a long time about all this.

Somewhere in the middle of our conversation, Andrew came in & asked me "Do I have to call you mom?". I told him he could call me whatever he wants to...but that he doesn't have to call me mom unless he really wants to. I reminded him that he has a mommy in Heaven & no one can replace her, but that I'd always love him & treat him as if he was my own little boy---even if I wasn't called "mom". He seemed happy with that answer & went back to his room.

I think that things are all slowly coming to a head with Andrew as far as emotions go. He seems a little more preoccupied & "off in his own world" in the late evenings these last couple of days. Just like Savannah zones out with books to retreat from things that make her worry, he zones out with his Gameboy or headphones (which means those are NOT things that we could ground him from if he gets in trouble--he really needs those as his own little therapy tools right now). When he's doing that, if anyone around him talks or makes much noise at all, he really flips out. He wants silence & peace around him when he's tuning things out. I have a feeling that means that he's getting closer to actually dealing with the pain of all that's going on. I feel so bad for him, but at the same time, I know it's a process he'll have to go through. It's so tragic that he has to deal with this stuff at all........but I'm glad that Larry & I can be there to help him through it. Poor baby!

Tonight at church, he went into Worship World (the children's church room) for the initial part of the Wed. evening activities, but just like he did at school, when they all went into the choir room, he got really nervous. He asked if he could just stand in the hall & watch, so the teachers let him. I came out of our room (right across the hall) at one point & found him standing in the hall watching the choir class. I know that despite his tough guy exterior, he's really a shy kid who's terrified of all the new things in his life right now. Heck, I'm 30 & the idea of that many things happening & changing in my life all at once would scare the beejeebers out of me, too! I'm sure that he'll warm up to the choir class & will probably be willing to go in next week. Keep that in your prayers. :)

Bedtime with Andrew tonight was very sweet again. When I was hugging everyone goodnight, he was laying on his back & held out his arms real wide as if to ask for a hug. I leaned down to hug him & as I did, he wrapped his arms & legs around me like a little monkey. I said "Hey, do I get a monkey hug tonight?" & he just giggled & said yes. So I plopped down with him giving him plenty of squeezes & started blowing raspberries on his cheek. He started laughing like crazy & acted so surprised by it. I asked if that was the first time anyone had ever done that & he said yes through the giggles, so I proceeded to give him "zerberts" all over his cheeks & shoulders. (Zerbert is what Bill Cosby called it on the Cosby show.) Honestly, I think it's the first time I've heard the kiddo giggle like that all week! Bedtime is growing on me.....I think it's my favorite time of day with the little man!

Praises: The insurance co. added the kids without questions! We got Andrew registered to play soccer today & seems really psyched about it. Art class is only a couple days away...he's so excited! Kourtney had a better time at school today (she's been saying that she didn't really want to go).

All in all, another great day!

Tuesday Feb 21

Another good day. With each passing day, things seem to get smoother & work out a little easier. The kids continue to progress in understanding our household routines, rules, etc. Today's entry is mostly about Andrew.

Slowly....very slowly I'm seeing Andy's walls coming down. He's a really agressive, vocal kiddo when he's upset, but the rest of the time he is real quiet. Today he's been a little more so than he was previously. He seems to be growing a little more attached to me as time passes...sort of a quiet recognition of me as a "mama type person" in his life. It's hard to explain, but there is something sweet developing here, and I really love it. :) I helped him with his homework this afternoon & watching his eyes light up as he "got it" was so neat. I helped him take a bath tonight & wash his hair. He's such a grown up man in a little boy's body....but helping him bathe didn't seem to phase him a bit. Tonight when I was telling the boys goodnight, I bent down & kissed his cheek & gave him a little squeeze. I don't want to force myself on him being all lovey dovey if he's not ready for that. I stood up & hugged/kissed Samuel (on the top bunk). Samuel said "Did you give Andrew a kiss?". I said yes, but Andrew corrected me...he wanted an actual kiss! I went back & was acting silly, smothering him with kisses all over his cheeks when he grabbed onto me & hugged me close, almost like he was scared & needed a hug. I sat there with him & just hugged for a little while. I waited for him to be the one to let go.....when he did, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. Sweet boy.......

He's been coughing some, but I figure moving into a new house with new laundry soap & stuff will take their little systems a while to get used to, so I'm not too worried about it yet. I went in to give him some cough/cold medicine tonight. He was sitting up in bed, just staring into space like he was lost in thought. I asked what he was thinking about & he said nothing. I asked if he was thinking about his mom & dad & he said no. I asked if he thinks about them much & he just shrugged. I told him how much I love him & that I was there if he decided he wants to talk about his mom & dad. He gave me a half-grin & nodded before laying back down.

By the inspiration of little Andrew, I was listening to Nichole Nordeman's Brave CD tonight. Here are the words to her title song on this CD. Sure seems fitting:

The gate is wide, the road is paved in moderation. The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in. Welcome to the middle ground. You're safe and sound and Until now it's where I've been. 'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything. But it's been love, your love, that cuts the strings. CHORUS: So long status quo. I think I just let go. You make me want to be brave. The way it always was is no longer good enough. You make me want to be brave. Brave, brave. I am small and I speak when I'm spoken to, but I am willing to risk it all. I say your name, just your name and I'm ready to jump, even ready to fall....Why did I take this vow of compromise? Why did I try to keep it all inside? CHORUS I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame. Every storm will start with just a drop of rain. But if you believe in me, that changes everything! CHORUS

I love you, Andrew. Biological or not, you will always be my sweet boy.

Needs list--updated again!

I'm going to start deleting some of the "covered" needs after I let you know they were taken care of so that you don't feel like you're reading the same list over & over!

Needs:

towel hooks to install in bedrooms for kids (1 hook for each child)

expenses/labor to add a garbage disposal to the kitchen sink A friend is buying & installing this for us tomorrow!! Thank you John!!!!!

attorney fees

full-sized sheets for Andrew's bed

Prayer needs:

smooth transition into new schools

prayer warriors who are willing to take on one of the children or one of us as their personal "project" & the willingness of those warriors to commit to daily prayers long-term for that particular family member

the salvation & knowledge of Christ as Saviour for the new kiddos, spiritual walk for all of us who will interact with them to be good examples & good representatives of Jesus to them

Good teachers, friends @ school & church for the kids

Praises:

So many needs have been filled...so many prayers already answered! Where can I possibly begin? Thank you Lord for your unconditional love for us, your ultimate provision of all our needs before we even ask. Thank you for preparing our hearts for the idea of adoption before this ever came about. Thank you for the awesome church we are a part of & all the loving people who've reached out to help & all the sweet family members & friends who are giving & sharing of their time to help make this transition smooth. You are soooooo good! Praise you Jesus!

What a difference 24 hours make!

Last night, I was so physically & emotionally exhausted that I sort of collapsed into bed about 10:20 & passed out. I slept about 8 1/2 hours & then needed a nap after church today! Boy was I tired! I guess the week of preparations finally caught up with me. Larry & I had been staying up til 1-2am every night this week working on things or just not sleeping b/c we were so keyed up about all that was going on.
Yesterday afternoon & last night was hard. The kids were not all that cooperative & testing all the boundaries with us. Each step of the way was a struggle, but we did eventually get them bathed & into bed last night. I had a moment of "what have I gotten myself into???" before I hit the bed last night.
But ya know....God is so good! This morning we got everyone up, dressed & ready for church on time (wow!). The kids really liked our church & had a good time w/ their teachers & new friends. I think Kourtney & Sarah stuck together like glue the whole time. Andrew was in Worship World w/ Savannah & Samuel, so he had a couple of buddies, too. He thought it was really neat that our children's pastor played a clip from Star Wars in part of his lesson today.
The service this morning was really good for me. I needed that refueling & had myself a good cry in church. A good friend reminded me of one of my favorite verses: "Don't grow weary in doing what is right, for at the proper time you will reap the harvest if you don't give up!" (Galations 6:9) God really used her mentioning that to remind me of another verse--the one in Proverbs about "training up a child in the way he should go....". I know that this task of raising two new children will be both hard & a veryyyy big blessing. Just watching their little personalities change in the past 24 hours has been so sweet.
I was a little nervous about what the afternoon would bring---we usually have quiet time & take a nap on Sunday afternoons, but I wasn't sure if that would work out today. Things ended up going smoothly! Sarah & Kourtney went into their room for a little down time, Samuel went into the boy's room. Andrew brought his box of dominoes & Matchbox cars to the living room & watched George of the Jungle while Savannah played on the computer. Larry & I actually took a short nap...maybe an hour? It was nice to feel like things worked as smoothly as "normal". :)
This afternoon I gave Kourtney a Bible that a friend from church had bought for her. It's got a soft red leather cover with a neat little fold-over strap to close it with a big flower on it. She LOVES it. Watching her carry it around like her most prized possesion was so sweet! She clearly adored her new Bible & teasingly told the boys that they couldn't touch it b/c it was a "girl Bible". :)
Once Andrew realized that Kourtney had her own Bible, he wanted to know where his was. I pulled it out of our bedroom (a gift from the same friend who bought Kourtney's) & he was amazed that some stranger had bought it for him. He started flipping through the pages & that it was really cool! He took it to church with him tonight & was really interested in trying to find the verses the pastor was using in his sermon.
Watching him get so excited about his Bible & seeing Kourtney tote hers around was so sweet! Thank you Don & Melody! You've truely given them a great gift!
Today has been so much sweeter on an emotional level, too. When Kourtney first arrived yesterday, it was clear that she didn't want to talk to much too much. I guess she felt like I was the intruding "mama" & she wanted to be left alone. By the time she went to bed tonight, I was getting hugs & kisses. This afternoon, she asked me to come watch a movie with her. We snuggled up in Larry's big recliner under a blanket & watched Alvin & the Chipmunks for a while. She's a good snugglebug! :) I saw a lot more smiles on her face today, too! She mentioned her mom several times today..just very matter of factly...but she brings her up. We are trying to make sure & include G & Kelly in daily conversations so that they're never forgotten or lost in their little memories.
Andrew was the one who provided more of a struggle yesterday, but today he was a doll. He's still a wild monkey boy.....but I have another one of those & he seems to fit right in! :) He responded a lot better to our corrections today than he did yesterday & was willing to go along with whatever we needed him to do. I can see the ADD stuff in the early morning (when his med hasn't had time to kick in yet) & late evening (when it's worn off) the most. As long as you stay nearby & give him frequent (ok, constant...) reminders of what he's supposed to be doing, he gets it done, but Lord help us if he gets distracted. Tonight he sat so still & quiet in church...it was obvious that Kelly had him trained well on church behavior! I told him tonight how proud I was of him. He did better than Samuel has EVER done in church! Way to go, Andrew! It was interesting to me to see his little personality come out more today. He is such a sweet, provider, protector type of kid. I can tell he'll be a good daddy one day!
Oh....and a neat thing happened at church tonight!!! One of Andrew's teachers in their last school told us that Andrew is really good at art. We have a lady in the singles dept who teaches private art classes in her home. She walked up to me tonight & said "God told me I need to give one of your new kiddos free art lessons....do you think one of them might be interested??" I almost cried! Yes.....we'd love that! Andrew seemed to think it was a really cool idea, too! He'll go every Friday from 3:30-5:00 starting this week!
Keep us in your prayers as we enroll the kids in school tomorrow. Andrew says that he's a little nervous. Kourtney doesn't seem to be the least bit concerned, even looking forward to it! She's a brave girl--in so many ways! We didn't realize it until Fri when we were withdrawing the kids from their old school that Andrew was in some special ed. classes. Since we didn't have that info earlier, I'm hoping that it won't throw a monkey wrench into getting him enrolled here. He seems to recognize all his numbers, but doesn't appear to be reading yet at all. Otherwise, he seems to be on-track academics wise.
Thank you for all the continued prayers! We can feel them. God has been so faithful (see the updated needs list in the next post).

Prayer Request for our bio kids

I can see the regression already....Sarah says she's excited about Kourtney coming to live with her, yet already has mentioned how "they'll get all your attention...". She's crying & whining more, too.....

Last night, Savannah was crying & saying that she couldn't wait for things to "get back to normal" around here. I tried to explain that this week has been very hectic & that I realized how hard all of this had been..........but pretty soon we'd have a "new normal". I hope she understands that.

Samuel doesn't seem to be phased by things at all. Heck, he's just happy to finally have another boy to play with.

They are due here within the next couple of hours....pray for all of us to welcome them smoothly.