To the ladies of AOL's Giving Tree Talk board, thank you for the Walmart gift card. It was a sweet contribution to my grocery bill last night! :)
To the anonymous donor(s) at Rose Heights, we are blessed by your love offering. Thank you!! It's hard to know what words to use when things are done anonymously, but please know how much we appreciate your gift. We haven't chosen a particular use for it yet, but we want you to know, we will be good stewards of it.
So many people have patted us on the back & told us that we're saints or angels or something to that effect. My response to all of them is generally the same --- don't crown me yet! I hate that people are seeing Larry & I in this and not the Lord. If you heard a piano being played beautifully, would you go up & talk to the piano afterward, praising it for its wonderful music? Of course not! You'd praise the one who played the piano! Similar to that, please don't praise Larry & I for the "great thing" we're doing here; praise the One who gave us life....the One who gives us the strength to rise every morning & start another day.....the One who created these beautiful children we get to watch grow and change.
In Genesis 15:1, it says: 1 After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision: "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward."
Wow! Now THAT is the kind of reward I want! GOD is my very great reward! What better reward can we imagine??? I long for the day that I can reach out & touch His face, hug Him close, sit in His lap & have Him hold me close. What a joyful time that will be!
I was listening to a new Paul Baloche CD tonight & heard this song. I've enjoyed it for a long time, but hearing it tonight while pondering all of this brought it out in a new light to me.
My Reward
I want to hear You say the words to me "Well done". I want to hear you say "Good and faithful servant". I want to hear you say "I've prepared a place for you." Let all the treasures of this world fall away.
Chorus: Jesus, you are my reward! To hear Your voice on that day is all I'm living for. Jesus, you are my reward. To see your face on that day is all I'm living for.
In the twinkling of an eye, we'll all be changed! We'll meet You in the sky, we'll see you face to face!
Chorus
Jesus, all I'm living for. Jesus, all I'm living for.
This is so true! We are so unworthy of the praise we're receiving. The only one who deserves praise here is God Himself! If not for Christ, Larry & I wouldn't be able to pull this off. He is so good, so faithful, so sweet & tender, so intimate, so precious to us. It is our greatest prayer that Andrew & Kourtney, as well as our bio children (& all those reading this journal) would see God in our lives and honor Him for all He is!
Yesterday was Samuel's 6th birthday. After cake for breakfast (our little birthday morning tradition around here) & then cupcakes at school w/ his class, I do believe Samuel was adequately sugared up! He had a good day! Hard to believe the little stinker is SIX!
Before going to bed last night, Kourtney announced to me that she wants to start calling me "mama". It stopped me in my tracks, because I never expected that, but I can't tell her she CAN'T call me that. I told her she was welcome to call me whatever she wanted to call me. She just giggled & said "MAMA!". I teasingly started calling her "daughter" instead of Kourtney & she thought that was really funny. This morning at breakfast, I wondered if the new name would stick. She woke up & one of the first things she said to me was "good morning mama". I just grinned & said "Good morning, daughter". Again, it brought out all sorts of silly giggles. I'm not sure if she really plans to stick with this or not b/c she always seems to giggle when she says it, as if she is just saying it as a joke.....and she's alternately called me mama & Aunt Liz all day, so who knows. I did ask her last night what she was going to call her mom now if I was to be "mama". She just giggled again & said she'd become "Aunt Liz". I said "no, silly.... I am Aunt Liz" & she said "No, you're mama". I guess I'll let it go & just see if it continues. While I want to feel like she's totally bonded & loves me, I don't want to take the place of Kelly.....but I'm not sure where that balance is. She did mention missing her today, so I know she's not forgetting her at all.....I guess she's just trying to work through what I am to her now & this is part of that transitional time. ???
Tonight was Andrew's school program. He did really well! He was enthusiastic & really "into" the songs and movements. I've got pictures if you want to see! After the musical, it was time for open house. He walked us through the school, showing us all the important things--- cafeteria, PE playground, bathrooms, office, library, etc.
When we got home, I read a book (individually) to A&K called "Remembering Mama". It is one of the many children's books we've gotten from the library about dealing w/ death. They both really liked this one. I may buy a copy to keep since we have to give this one back. After reading it, Kourtney told me she remembers her mama liking art. I never knew this! When I read the book to Andrew, I asked him about it & he said that his mom had a couple of little art kits with some sort of picture & markers that you color. I'm guessing it's maybe a color by number sort of thing? I asked him if he could remember some other things about his mom. He shook his head, but then asked me to pat his back til he fell asleep like his mama used to do. I layed down on his bed & patted for a while, while we talked. He told me that he likes looking at pictures of his mom & pointed to the ones we had printed for him. (Thanks again for the idea, Nikki! Good move!) He said he wished that she could've been at the musical last night & almost looked teary-eyed when he said it. Thank you, God....we're getting somewhere. :*(
Keep praying for these little guys, everyone. I appreciate all the prayers thus far!
Sunday was very busy, so I never got a chance to post. Oops!
Yesterday wasn't much better. At 4am, Kourtney crawled into bed with me to cuddle. I love it when she does this! Sure seems like she's bonding w/ me when she's willing to come snuggle in the wee hours. (sniff, sniff....i love the little sweetie!) About 4:30, when my left arm was completely numb & I needed to go potty, I woke her up & sent her back to her bed. ;) Then at 5:00am, Savannah started crying out "mommy, I need you!". I got up & went to her & found that she was burning up....fever! She said her throat was sore, so I got her some Ibuprofen & a water bottle w/ ice water. She went back to sleep & so did I. Usually if she's got fever and/or a sore throat, I can go ahead & assume it's strep throat. I figured I'd give her that 1 dose of Ibuprofen & see if the fever returned when it wore off. That should've hit about 1:00pm. All morning, she was fine. At 1:30 (while we were in the waiting room at A&K's counselor's office), she layed down on the bench & fell asleep. Over an hour later when she woke up, her fever was back. We went to the doc's office & at 4:00 when we got there, her fever was 103! Poor baby! And just as I figured....she has strep throat! Ouchy! Here we are, nearly 24 hours later. After 2 doses of the antibiotic (so far) & a couple more doses of Ibuprofen, she seems "all better". She's perky & full of energy.
Andrew & Kourtney's counseling appointments went well. They really liked the lady & love her office---full of toys & fun stuff!
Today, Sarah & Kourtney went on to school alone (my mom took them). I hope they've done well. I'll go to pick them up in about an hour.
Tonight is Andrew's school program. He's a little nervous, but I know he'll do great! Can't wait!
Yesterday morning, Kourtney woke up & said her tummy hurt. No sooner had she swallowed a sip of milk than it came back up. She carried a big plastic bowl around the rest of the day, slept a lot & didn't each much of anything after that. The not eating at mealtime is definately unusual for her because she's usually a big eater. This morning (Sat), she turned down donuts for 1 piece of buttered toast. Hmm....something's definately up. I really believe it's a matter of her nerves getting to her because she continued to play yesterday & act normal....other than just looking sad. :(
Today will be very full. From 9:00-10:00am, we have Andrew's soccer game. Then we will run pick up our Angel Food (from Angel Food Ministries, if you don't know about it, ask me!), then we will run home, put the food in the freezer/fridge, eat a fast lunch, throw on Savannah's costume & get out the door. We have to be at the dance competition at 11:30. Luckily, however, it's next door at the High School, so we don't have far to go to get there! Her dance is at 12:30 & then she'll get an award & we'll come HOME! whew! By then, we'll all need a nap! This afternoon, all the kids want to ride bikes, so I'm sure we'll drag those out after naptime & everyone will play outside til supper/bathtime.
Pray for me today, as I'm doing this alone. Larry had signed up for a DivorceCare training session in Arlington months ago, so he'll be gone all day long today. They left the church parking lot at 5:30am!
