Tonight a prayer reminder buzzed on my phone. One glance was all it took to bring to mind a million heartbreaks that led to the need for these prayers.
Bad decisions, sins, mental health, immorality. Stuff that has wrecked a family & left behind a path of unfathomable consequences. So much hurt, so much destroyed. Lives changed, pain & sadness. It feels like a mass of horrible wrapped up in a layer of ugly intertwined with a whole lot of sorrow.
As I talked to God about it, I asked Him what to pray. I mean, sometimes situations leave us questioning what on earth we can possibly request of Him to fix the situation. Where to begin healing? Who most needs hope? Is there any way possible to remedy the destruction? Is there a way to repair what's broken?
As I prayed, I told Him of my heartache and it was in those moments He reminded me of a book I read years ago that completely wrecked me and changed the way I view my faith. I recently bought a copy for a friend so I guess it's been in my head lately.
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers was *THE* book that made me start reading fiction again. After years of reading ONLY the stuff necessary for information in parenting or pregnancy, I had lost the desire to read for pleasure. A group of moms in my MOPS group (and about a dozen other random ladies I knew) all began talking about this one particular book all at around the same time. They kept nudging me to read it and while I couldn't imagine ever having time for something leisurely like reading a 300+ page book, I finally caved.
Oh.
My.
Soul.
Guys, this book is the book of Hosea (from the Old Testament) re-told in a modern language. It's set in the California gold rush time period, which is entirely off my normal reading radar. I usually hate historic fiction. But this book... I can't explain it. As you read the story of the main character, a girl sold into prostitution at a young age, your heart breaks for her. And then when her husband arrives in her life and falls in love with her & then buys her out of sex trade, you cheer with excitement for her. And then she runs away from him, again and again. And she turns from his love for her because she can't imagine how anyone could possibly want her. She flees his home and his arms again and again. She wants all he has to offer her-- love, comfort, companionship, security, marriage -- but she can't bring herself to believe anyone would ever actually want her, all of her, with all her baggage and the ugly past. Michael Hosea (her husband) continually pursues her, continually brings her back home and forgives her lovingly, wiping her tears, bandaging her wounds, holding her close.
I'll spare you the whole story, but as you read the book, you can see a reflection of our relationships with God in the story. We have an ugly story, a nasty history, a painful past....and then God chases us down, wipes away our old life & covers our scars and pains with His compassion. And as believers, we know what we should do, we know how much we relish His presence. We feel fulfilled, comforted and so refreshed when we let Him be the Lord of our lives. But we still run away, we retreat into our old lives of garbage now & then. We see that old sin nature rising up from time to time. But God's grace chases us down, dusts us off and pulls us back in again & again, keeping us right where we belong.
His redemptive mercy is so profound, so beyond my comprehension!
As I prayed tonight for this painful situation, as I asked God what I could pray, He whispered to me. "Redemption." He reminded me of how He loves us, how He'll always pull us back, how nothing we can confess to Him will *ever* shock Him or make Him love us less. How there is always, always a path back to holiness. There is always a way to His arms. There will never be a situation that is too far gone for Him to redeem. Somehow, someway. I smiled as He reminded me not to worry about the end result, but to let Him cover it.
Oh Father, how quickly we try to solve problems or find ways for you to work. What a beautiful reminder to trust you to take care of things.
And like Hagar, I will run back to your arms again & again.
