Saturday, October 27, 2012

Stream of Consciousness post

I've got to admit it.

Life is getting to me lately.  Or rather, the monotony of life.  Five days out of my week look remarkably similar.  Get up at 6:00.  Check the bank account online & balance the checkbook.  Wake the kids & feed them breakfast, pack lunches, run around like a chicken with my head cut off to get everyone (myself included) out the door on time.  Go to work, come home.  Evening activies, go to bed.  Rinse & repeat.


If Saturdays brought some excitement, I could deal with the weekly schedule looking the same over and over, but it hasn't really been that way in a while.  Honestly, we can't afford to do anything "exciting".  Once in a while when we do go do something, we end up "paying for it" the rest of the month ($$) so it almost makes it not worth it to go have fun with the kids.  Of course, I know they're worth it and I long for the memory-making fun stuff, but it's hard to get excited about spending money we really don't have when it means we're going to 'feel it' for the next several weeks 'til the next paycheck.  I long for the day when we have money to spare in the checkbook and life feels a little easier.  It may never happen, but a girl can dream, right?

I have never struggled with depression, but lately I can see how easy it would be for day to day life to wear you down to a point where you slipped into depression.  When you feel like you run 24 hours a day and you're never getting ahead, ugh!

But enough of that!

I'm going to try to begin blogging more.  In the past, I used this site as just a daily (or at least weekly) journal of what's going on at our house with our family.  In the past year or so, I got away from that, mostly just sharing whatever was on my mind or heart or on "big" days (holidays, etc).  But I want to get back to journalling more. So here's a quick look at a few things from this past week.

Sarah tried out for the UIL Dictionary Skills team at her school a couple weeks ago.  She found out this past week that she made the team!  I'm not even totally sure what a dictionary skills team does, but we're proud that she gave it a shot & made the team!

A couple weeks ago, I bought a Groupon for personalized photo Christmas cards.  We've never done that before & I am way more excited about it than I should be.  I just have to go to the site, pick out the template I want to use, upload the pics and press "order".  I've narrowed it down and keep going back to the site to look at them again.  I have to order them by Nov. 9th so I have a little more time.

This week we got to play host to one of my BFF's daughters while she was out of town.  We rarely ever (ok, pretty much NEVER) have an overnight guest on a school night because it's just too hard to get everyone to bed and awake on time for school.  But that wasn't the case this time!  I feel so honored that my girlfriend chose to let us keep her daughter.  We lovingly call her my niece & my kids call my girlfriend "Aunt Tara".  They totally adore her (as do I).

A girlfriend of mine in North Carolina is a freelance writer.  To be honest, I'm totally jealous that she gets paid (pretty good money, too!) to write all day.  Now and then she needs help getting all her articles written & she has a team of writers who work under her to tackle the big jobs.  I've joined her writing team and just got my first paycheck from her last week.  I won't ever make as much as she does because I only have time to write an article or two (or maybe 3-4) per week, but it's fun to get to do something semi-professionally that I'd love to do full time one day.

Speaking of those "full time, one day" hopes:  in January I hit the 1 year mark of writing a column for our local paper.  It's just a volunteer job (no pay) but I have a lot of fun writing it!  I find it hard to swallow (still!) that I'm really being published & people are reading it!  Maybe one day this will help my writing resume!  You know, the resume I'll use when I'm older, richer, able to quit working because I have to and able to begin teaching again (because I love it) and working on writing that book that I've been thinking about all these years.  Sigh.  Wouldn't that be cool?

Time for me to read my Sunday School lesson for tomorrow morning & hit the sack.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

What? Only 74 days til Christmas?

Yeah, you read that right.  If you don't believe me go to this site & check for yourself.

Oh my heavens.

School started August 27th.  I started my job on August 28th.  And bam!  I blinked at it's October 11th.  Where the heck did September go?

Seriously, the past 6 weeks have FLOWN by.  It's good that time is passing quickly (days that dragggg are well, a drag.)  But I wish it would slow down just a tad so that I could relish the moments a little more.  I feel like I'm on a merry-go-round right now.  My days are a steady rhythm of wake up, get the kids ready for school & out the door on time, work all day, pick up kids, do homework & dinner and whatever is on the calendar for that evening, go to bed...and repeat.  Fall seems to work like that every year.  It's busy, busy, busy...go, go, go...and then before I know it, Christmas has crept up on us and I look back and wonder what happened between July & December.

Yesterday, I was driving to work after dropping off the kids at their schools.  As I pulled away from the curb of the last school, I extended my arm to press the button to turn on the radio.  I love my morning music & worship time.  But then it struck me.  I never really slow down and embrace the quiet, so this time, I did just that.

I prayed.  I talked to myself.  (Shut up, you know you do it, too.)  I rolled down the windows, but only for a second before I realized it would mess up my hair.  I thought through the evening's events and what I would be cooking for dinner.  I mentally went through the day ahead at work.

I realized that, after just a few minutes, I felt anxious.  It was like I couldn't live with myself.  I needed to be doing something!  I needed to be feeding my brain with multiple stimuli.  I needed noise (music or conversation).

And this was all during a 20 minute drive to work.

I am really looking forward to Christmas.  You know, the big holiday that comes in 74 days.  I look forward to it not so much because of the holiday focus it brings (although I loveeee that, too) but because Spring comes right afterward.  And for me, Spring is looking much less frantic & busy!  Sure, there will be things to do & special dates on the calendar still, but not nearly as many as the Fall.  So with that in mind...

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012