Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A happy entry!

 Since my recent journal entries have all been sort of "downers" I thought I'd share a few blessings from the past week or so.
#1  All five kids have been to the dentist for cleanings---no cavities!  Savannah's mouth/teeth are ready to start orthodontic work now, so I am calling today to set up the first appointment.  She's really excited about that (even though I have told her that it will hurt)!
#2  Andrew has a girlfriend.  For several days, he's come home talking about a little girl--M (abbreviating her name here).  It took him 2 days to write a note to her asking her to please, please, please, please, please, please be his girlfriend.  (He literally filled 1 entire page with "please".)  He came home yesterday, grinning & saying "She said YES!".  I asked him what they would do now that she's his girlfriend & he just giggled & shrugged his shoulders.  'I've got what?'  It was so funny to listen to him talk to Savannah last night about "girl advice".  He was writing M another little note & asked Savannah to read it to make sure it sounded ok.  She advised him to add some flowers or hearts "because girls like flowers & teddy bears & hearts & stuff".  HA HA!  This is really cute!
When Larry got home from DivorceCare last night, I told him that Andrew had a girlfriend.  He'd already heard @ church.  M's mother is a friend of ours!!!!!  I didn't realize this was her daughter Andrew had been describing!  And the cool part is, M's mom is the nurse who worked on Kelly (Andrew's mom) in the ER the day she passed away.
#3  I have had so many people offer me sweet words in prayer, emails, phone calls in the past few days.  It's astonishing to me that, after a year, people are still reading the journal & keeping up with us.  I mean, if it was me, I'd probably have lost interest by now!  I suppose it's like keeping up with your favorite TV show, though.  You get hooked & can't wait to see what happens next.  LOL!  THANK YOU for loving us!
#4  Financial blessing--God's providing a sizable tax refund that could feasibly cover the entire cost of Savannah's braces up front (although we won't pay for the whole thing right away, but we will put down a big chunk of it up front).  There was a scare that our taxes had been messed up last year & we were going to OWE this year, but that turned out to be a mistake.  All is well.  PRAISE THE LORD!
#5  I read this yesterday & love it!  "When you come to the edge of darkness, God will provide something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly."  AMEN!  How often we have seen this to be truth in the past year.  I get this visual image of opening a door into outerspace & not being able to see anything but darkness, being fearful to step out into the unknown & risk falling, but doing it anyway....and finding a solid step right under my feet.  I love this quote!  God's always provided us with a place to stand or has taught us to fly when we take that step out into the darkness, trusting Him.  How do people weather storms without Him??
#6  When Larry came home from his trip on Saturday, he said that he'd felt compelled, to buy fishing rods for the whole family.  We haven't had one for everyone up until now so every time we've tried to fish, we end up passing the rods around & having someone bored (& getting into things) while they waited their turn.  He said he wanted us to have something that we can all get away & do together or just something that he could grab a kid or two & take them to go do on those rough days when we need a few less people getting into trouble @ home.  We all took our rods & went to the lake to fish for a while.  No one caught anything, but we had fun.  It was very relaxing to see all the kids doing something quiet & calm.  They all stood on the shore, casting their lines into the water, peering at the little bobbers & getting nearly blown over in the wind.  I told Larry that I'm going to bring a chair & just go sit out there sometime.  Watching the ripples of the water and hearing the seagulls (or would that be lake-gulls?), watching the ducks.... ahhhh!
Things are still difficult, but finding sweet little blessings in the midst of chaos is always nice.  Thank you God, for the perspective to see them!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

more about Andrew

On Thursday, about lunchtime, Larry left for a little sabbatical in Oklahoma.  He had a great time fishing, playing golf, sleeping late in the cabin he rented and just spending a lot of time alone with God.  He relaxed & enjoyed nature.
Of course, the poor guy was hit with bad news each time he called home.  God bless him for not hanging up on me.  :)
Thursday at school, Andrew was found sitting at the back of the cafeteria staring off into space, unresponsive.  The principal called me at work to tell me what was going on.  She had spent a while sitting on the floor beside him, trying to coax him to talk.  He wouldn't respond to her, but she did eventually get him to nod/shake his head a few times.  He ended up spending the rest of the day sitting in her office reading books.  I still don't know what was wrong.  That evening, he was pure torture at home as well, fighting, screaming, arguing, crying.  I don't know if any of this had something to do with Larry being gone, but by the end of that first night, I was ready for Larry to come home!!
Friday afternoon was much the same.  The boys were supposed to clean their room.  Samuel had laundry to pick up & I asked Andrew to clean off their shelf (they have a big shelving unit in their room & it was a disorganized mess).  Before it was all said & done, Andrew was saying he wanted to just burn down the room to get rid of the mess (instead of having to clean it).  Talk about sending chills down your spine.....I don't think he'd actually do that, but it freaked me out a little bit that he'd even come up with that idea.
Throughout Thursday and Friday, I repeatedly asked all 5 kids if they knew where a $20 bill was that had come up missing.  It was money for Avon & I had it on the bar in the kitchen before it disappeared.  Everyone claimed to not know.  I had my suspicions, unfortunately, but no one owned up to it.  I was kicking myself for leaving it there because I really should've known better.
On Saturday morning, I woke up & found staples and candy wrappers in the kids' bathroom toilet.  There was soap dumped all over their bathroom floor (to make people slip & fall when they walked in there).  There was pizza crust in the kitchen floor (the leftover box was in the fridge) and a trail of canned/squirty cheese on the bar.  Between all that & my frustration over feeling like I'd been violated by someone taking the money on the bar, I was very stressed out.  In my book, stressed out means crying.  I finally locked myself in the bathroom & had a good cry.  I was upset at Andrew for his behavior the past couple of days & really suspected that he was the culprit for all of Saturday morning's shenanigans and I was crying to God "Are you SURE I'm the one you wanted to do this job?".  There are times when I feel so inept to fill this HUGE role He's given me....and Saturday morning was one of those times.  As I sat & cried and waited for the Lord to speak to me, I kept hearing 2 scriptures in my head--- Seek & ye shall find, ask & it will be given, knock and the door will be opened to you AND an emphasis on one particular part of Jer. 29:11--- "plans for you...hope & a future".  I found comfort & strength in those verses enough to pull myself out of the bathroom floor & go on.  I kept praying for God to bring to light who took the money before bedtime as that was my biggest concern.  I emailed several friends & asked that they back me up in prayer until Larry got home because I was really getting wrung out & tired of tackling it all alone.
Unfortunately, my suspicions were correct.  We found the missing money--in Andrew's wallet.  My heart is broken that I now have to worry about theft within my own home.  He watched me cry as he admitted to stealing it and I think I saw a little sadness in his eyes as he realized that it upset me so much.  As we talked to him, he cried & appeared remorseful, but he's acted remorseful the last thousand times we've caught him lying about something, so I really don't know how sorry he is.  My resolve is not gone, though.  He may grow up to make bad choices or he may choose to do wrong now.....whatever the case, it won't be for lack of our trying to teach him to do right.  (and in case you're wondering---yes he was punished for stealing & lying about it)
This morning, his remorseful attitude from yesterday has apparently already dissolved.  I went grocery shopping last night & bought mini donuts for everyone to eat for breakfast.  Last night, Larry & I packaged upa baggie for everyone to have an equal number of donuts.  We labeled each one w/ their name so there would be no confusion.  Andrew was awake at 5:00am (I have no idea WHY).  When I realized he was up, I sent him back to bed.  I really don't know how long he'd been up, but it was 5:00 when I woke up to him bumping around in the kitchen.  30 minutes later he had Samuel up with him (he woke him up) to play.  Again, I sent them back to bed.  I set their alarm & told them they could not get up until the alarm went off (7:00am).  At 6:30, Larry was up getting ready for church & allowed them to go ahead & get up.  (He had no idea about my earlier threat to strangle anyone who got up before the alarm went off.  LOL)  I woke up to the sounds of Samuel crying that his donuts were gone.  Indeed, the baggie with his name had been emptied.  No one else in the house was up yet and I know Larry & I didn't eat his donuts.  This is sooooo frustrating!
Keep praying, please........

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Andrew entry #2

Andrew just came into my bedroom & said his tummy hurt.  As he said that, he broke down in tears.  I asked the usual mommy you need to go potty?  Do you need to throw up?  What it boils down to is that this is a VERY FREQUENT excuse to get out of bed.  At least 3x/week he claims that something hurts or that he needs something so that he can stall going to sleep.  I'm not sure why he stalls falling asleep.....nightmares that he's afraid will come?  Bad nighttime memories from the past?  Just wants attention?  Who knows?

I told him that there wasn't much I could do for him if it wasn't a poopy/pukey sort of tummyache & that he really just needed to go to bed & get some rest---the best cure for all physical ailments.

He screamed & cried that he couldn't go to bed because laying down made his tummy hurt more.  He went on & on.  I told him that his stomach was probably hurting due to stress.  He cried "I am not stressed out!!!!!".  When I pointed out his behavior at school today & reminded him that yes, he is stressed out, he just cried louder.  I told him that he had every right to be stressed out.....reminded him that he's had a hard life, has had to live through some really hard things in the past year & that he needed to talk to someone about the way it makes him feel inside.  I explained to him about getting ulcers from stress & while that freaked him out, maybe it got through to him.  I hardly had explained that before he screamed "I don't like how you & Larry boss me around!!".

Ah!  Progress!  Finally....something!!!

I told him that God gave him to us to take care of & if we give him rules it's because we love him & want to make sure he's safe--both physically & emotionally & spiritually.  I reminded him that his parents had rules for him too, so what is different?  He told me 'They let me watch whatever movies I wanted to watch!  Y'all won't let me watch Harry Potter or those kind of movies!"  {NOTE:  We have a house rule that you have to be 12 before you watch/read HP.}  I reminded him that he only had a couple more years til he reaches the age when he can watch HP, but then explained again why we don't watch HP.  As for the rest of the movies he was allowed to watch......well......sorry kiddo, we don't do R & NC-17 rated movies for 6 & 8 year olds!

He had worked himself into a full blown panic attack by now & was all sorts of worked up, screaming, slinging snot & boogers, the whole nine yards.  We, well...I, talked about how different homes have different rules.  I explained how it would be that way as an adult, too.  When you go from one job to another, rules change & you have to go along with whatever the new boss says, even if you don't like the rules.  That's just how the world works.  He didn't like that answer, either.

I told him that it was nearly 10:00 (2 hours past his bedtime) and he needed to calm down & go get in bed.  He screamed & cried & carried on about how he couldn't calm down.  Of course, having watched Savannah's anxiety attacks, I realized this was true-- you really can't calm yourself during an anxiety attack.  He took off running out of my room & went to the hall bathroom.  I thought he was going to throw up, so I followed him, but he just used the bathroom & came out, still wiping his nose & sobbing.  He grabbed onto my waist & hugged me tight.  He was nearly hyperventilating at this point, so I stepped inside the bathroom with him, got down on eye level & tried to calm him down again....speaking softly, holding his face/shoulders.  I got out a damp washcloth & tried to wipe off his face, all the while with him twisting and turning & trying to pull away from me, but at the same time, holding on around my waist for dear life.  It was like trying to wipe the nose of a toddler--he'd bury his face in my chest/stomach & turn his head from side to side.  I finally told him that I wouldn't turn loose of him until he was able to calm down a little & breathe more regularly.  He stood there sobbing, watching his own reflection in the mirror, and finally settled down.

When I sent him toward bed again, he said "I can't go without you."  He wanted me to come lay in his bed with him, but I told him I'd sit at the foot of the bed with him for a little while.  I got him covered up, put a towel beside the bed for him (he's been sleep peeing lately....) and sat down to rub his leg.  Within 2 minutes' time, he was snoring.

Poor kid.  I don't know what Satan is trying to do today, but man he's busy.  But ya know what?  God won another battle tonight.  :::stomping my foot:::  Na-na-na-na-boo-boo!  :::blowing raspberries::: 

Should I just call this the Andrew journal? :)

It seems like I update on him most often...maybe I should change the title of our family's blog.  :)  Seriously, though, I do have an update on him as well as one on Savannah.

Tomorrow is Savannah's archery tournament.  Remember the one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago?  Well, she made it!  They leave in the morning and won't be back til late tomorrow evening (8 or 9pm).  She is soooo excited and I'm very excited for her!  Her best bud from school is going too, so they ought to have a great day.

About Andrew--- today his principal called me at work.  She was at a loss for what to do with him.  She said the cafeteria ladies called her to the cafeteria because they had an unusual circumstance.  That unusual circumstance turned out to be Andrew.  He was sitting on the floor near the back of the cafeteria, almost catatonic.  He was just staring off into space, wouldn't make eye contact, wouldn't speak....they didn't know what to do with him, so they called her.  She said she sat on the ground next to him for a while, trying to coax him to talk to her.  She finally got a couple of nods out of him, but he still wouldn't utter a word.  She asked him if she could call one of us for him.  When she mentioned Larry, he finally mumbled a few words-- "He's in Oklahoma."  That was the last thing (& only thing!) he said.  She said that made her wonder if he was worried about Larry or was nervous that he wouldn't come back or might get hurt or whatever.  She got him to her office somehow---I'm not sure if she picked him up & carried him or if he walked on his own.  She called me from the office & asked me what she should do.  I was stunned at the situation & I wasn't sure what to tell her.  Umm....uhhh....

She put the phone to his ear for me to talk to him.  I kept waiting for him to get on the phone, not sure if she was having to talk him into it or what...and then I heard him breathing, so I knew he was there.  I started talking to him, asking him if he was ok, asking him what was going on, why he wouldn't talk, etc.  He never spoke.  The principal got back on the phone & said he had nodded his head a couple of times, but since he never spoke, I wasn't even sure if he ever heard anything I said.

She offered to let him sit in her office for a little while to do...well, whatever it was he wasdoing.  She said she'd try to get the counselor or one of his teachers to come talk with him, too.  It was about 12:30 at the time, so I told her to let me know if nothing changed by 1:00.  If it didn't, I would come up to talk to him or take him home or whatever.

In my mind, I was panicked because I was picturing myself checking him into the local psychiatric hospital tonight alone (since Larry's out of town).  I called Larry & asked him what I should do.  He offered to turn around & head home (he was nearly to Oklahoma by then), but I told him to hold off and wait until I knew more about what was going on.  He told me to call him as soon as I knew something & that he'd spend his time praying til then.

Well.....I never heard back from the principal & when he stepped off the day care bus, I was standing there waiting.  He was smiling & talking & carrying on like usual by then.  I have no idea when it changed or what happened today (becaue I never could get anything out of him tonight), but he seems OK now.

I've emailed his principal tonight to let her know he's alright now.  As it turns out, she let him sit in her office the rest of the afternoon & read books.  That was great for Andrew so that he could take a break from reality & get some (apparently) much needed space.  However, now I'm concerned that he might use this as a way to get out of class later on.  Ya know?  "Hey, that worked before...I think I'll try it again."

Please keep praying for Andrew.  He is such a sweet boy.  I KNOW that God has a big plan for him and I refuse to let go of my grip on him.  He's going to make a mighty man of God out of his sweet kid and Satan is trying sooooooooo hard to drag him off to the pits.  Larry & I are determined to keep our heels dug in and carry him before the throne every day.  Usually, these breakdowns & rages are all "coincidentally" on the same day that some 'big thing' happened.  We usually don't make the connection til later, but it's almost always a spiritual battle.  I'm curious to see what happened today.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

One Year Ago today....

One year ago today I wrote the entries below.  I'm copying & pasting it from the day I wrote it.  Amazing...hard to believe it's been a year:

The first entry:
Today's the day!

It's after today is officially the big day!

We have Sarah's birthday party at 10:00 this morning, then A&K will arrive this afternoon.  Can't wait to get them here!  I'm so excited.  (But with the same sort of anticipation that I had while pregnant with Sarah....sort of a "oh my gosh" sort of excitement!)

The 2nd entry of the day:

Prayer Request for our bio kids

I can see the regression already....Sarah says she's excited about Kourtney coming to live with her, yet already has mentioned how "they'll get all your attention...".  She's crying & whining more, too.....

Last night, Savannah was crying & saying that she couldn't wait for things to "get back to normal" around here.  I tried to explain that this week has been very hectic & that I realized how hard all of this had been..........but pretty soon we'd have a "new normal".  I hope she understands that.

Samuel doesn't seem to be phased by things at all.  Heck, he's just happy to finally have another boy to play with.

They are due here within the next couple of hours....pray for all of us to welcome them smoothly.

3rd & last entry:

:::yawn::: Boy I'm tired!

The kids arrived today about 2 or 3.......can't remember which.  It's only been a few hours & I'm totally wiped out!  LOL!  I guess it'll get easier as they learn how things work here & get into the routine of things.

We took a little family picture right after they got here, so if you want to see it, email me.  (

Larry's dad/grandmother stayed a little while before going home & leaving us with the kids.  They had told us a couple days ago that they both like pizza, so that's what I made for supper.  I bought 2 large-sized frozen pizzas & cooked them.  Turns out, there wasn't enough for Larry & I!!  We ordered 1 pizza for us from the local pizza place & just watched the kids eat til it got here.  They all wanted to watch different things on TV, so we played a movie instead.

Boy can we tell that Andrew's ADHD med was wearing off!  Oh boy!  He really is a very sweet boy, but he was sooo hyper & busy tonight.  I know that a lot of it is just being in a new house with all new things & he wanted to explore EVERYTHING, but I think a lot of it had to do with his medicine wearing down.  He loves the bedroom he's sharing w/ Samuel & loves all the billion toys in their room.  Samuel is adoring him, too!  Nothing like having a partner in crime.  I can tell we're going to have to keep the reigns on those two or we'll have little boys swinging from the ceiling fan blades soon!

Kourtney was a little withdrawn & quiet at first.  She would talk to Larry & smile for him, but really didn't want to talk to me.  I figure that it felt a little like someone was trying to replace her mama....and I don't want to do that at all.  We're going to talk about Kelly & show her pictures as often as possible.  But at the same time, I want her to love me, too.  By bedtime, she was a little more relaxed.  She told me several times that she misses her daddy & mentioned things her mom did for her several times.  She is a sweet, sweet little girl!

Bedtime has been a bit of a struggle....trying to get everyone to lay down & shut up!!!  We'll just continue to work with them.  Once they all get used to being here, it won't seem as exciting as it does now & they'll lay down more easily, I bet!

Anyway.......that's about it for tonight.  I'm am soooo tired.  I'm going to go collapse now.  :)

Thanks for all the love & prayers today.  Keep 'em coming!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Saturday Feb 10

Looks like I have a little catching up to do!  Where to begin?

1.  Sarah's class had a sub a few times this year that they really loved.  When the news came that her teacher was leaving, I mentioned to Larry that it would be really nice if Mrs. S became their teacher since the class loved her so much.  Well, Praise the Lord...that's who they've hired!  Yahoo!  Mrs. S will start on Monday.  We will miss Mrs. Page, but I know that she's going where she feels called by God to be.  She will do a great job at her new place.  (Mrs. Page---please keep in touch.  You have my email!)

2.  We saw the psychiatrist this week with Andrew.  He said that while Andrew certainly has the history & behavior patterns to diagnose RAD, he's going to hold off on that diagnosis until we rule out a child with out of control, severe ADHD.  Since our initial reason for seeing him was to re-evaluate the ADHD meds, we're trying that route first.  He mentioned that there are 5-6 different meds we may have to work through to find the right one, so this may be a long therapeutic relationship, but that's alright.  Dr. S said we may very well come back to the RAD diagnosis, but he hates to give that diagnosis because it carries such a grim prognosis & paints such a bleak picture for the future.  Of course there are varying degrees of RAD but they're very conservative with labeling a child as such.  He said that while he's going to be conservative in labeling Andrew as RAD, he's going to be aggressive in treating him since so much is as stake & he is having so much trouble now.

3.  Kourtney's higher dose of Concerta is working really well!  We're so happy!

4.  Andrew has continued to ask all sorts of really 'smart' questions about God ever since last Sunday.  If he didn't actually get saved, he definately had a big ol' seed planted.  I think we are going to go ahead & assume he did ask Jesus into his heart.  It's hard to tell with "church kids" sometimes because they grow up believing the gospel & knowing it is truth, so they don't always have a "point in time" when it suddenly hits them that they need a savior....but more of a gradual thing over time where they just learn it & believe it & decide it's time to make it 'official'.  We figure, if this wasn't the "real thing", it's not like God won't give him a secondchance later.  :)

5.  Today's memorial time for Kelly was very nice.  I have pictures if you want to see!  We got 7 balloons & released them at the grave, then went over to the scene of the wreck & put up a white cross.  It was a nice day for it, too.

Friday, February 9, 2007


I was talking to Kourtney this week about the 1 year anniversary of her mom's death (Saturday, Feb 10th).  We talked about her last memories of her mom.  Sadly, she doesn't have a "last" memory.  I asked her if she remembered what went on at home the last night her mom was alive, or that final morning before getting on the school bus.  She's was barely 5 at the time, so she doesn't remember.  I asked her about her favorite (other) memories of her mom.  She looked like she was thinking real hard & finally asked if she could go look at the pictures in her memory box (where I keep her baby book, baby pictures, etc).  Bless her heart, she never saw it coming.  She didn't realize that the morning of the wreck would be the last time she'd see her mom before she died.
"goodnight"....that's the last thing I said to Lisa.  Less than 24 hours later, my friend was dead.  How I wish that final conversation was something poignant, life-changing, breathtaking.  But it wasn't.  I didn't know that would be our last conversation.
But do any of us?  Do we really wrap ourselves around the people around us?  Do we make sure that they know that they know that they know we love them?  I mean, there are a lot of people I care about in my life, but do they all really know I love them & am here for them?  Do we make sure & give a hug when it's needed (or even when it's not)?  Do we give our friends & loved ones a kiss when we're near them?  Do we tell them how much they mean to us as often as we can?  Have I done what I can to make sure that those near me know how much I care should I not make it til morning?
I hope so.
And if you didn't know it before, now you do.  :)  I love you.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Two Cool Things!

Cool thing #1:
Kourtney started taking Concerta recently for ADHD.  We've been watching to see if we can tell a difference in her.  A few days ago, Larry & I decided that we were cautiously optimistic because we *thought* we had seen a little change in her attention span.  Yesterday, we finally had a hip-hip-hooray moment!  She came in from school & after doing her homework, she began working on building with a box of Legos.  Other than taking a break to eat supper, she worked on building a pretty intricate house of Legos until BEDTIME!  WOW!  She's never spent that much time on ANYTHING!  Wow.......
Cool thing #2:
A few weeks ago, the school set up some archery targets & allowed students who wanted to "try out" to come play around & see how they did.  Savannah came home talking about shooting a bow & arrow and mentioned something about a tournament.  WELL.....come to find out, there is a statewide archery tournament in Temple in a few weeks.  They took the top 75 scores from the kids who "tried out" & they are offering them a spot on a special field trip to go to this tournament.  Savannah made it into the top 75!!!!  There are only 50 spots available, so it all depends on who gets their paperwork in first....who gets the best grades on their report cards...and then if all 75 do well, they'll take the top 50 archery scores.  We're pretty excited about this.  What a fun oppurtunity for her!  We've got the paper almost done so she'll take it back to school tomorrow & turn it in.  Can't wait to see if she gets to go!  If she does, Larry plans to follow the bus down there to watch and then will drive her back home if he can.

Monday, February 5, 2007

1 year anniversaries this weekend

This Friday, I will remember my friend Lisa Hardel.  On the afternoon of February 9, 2006 she lost her battle with leukemia.  The loss of Lisa is huge.  She was one of my best friends & I will never forget the mark she left on my life.  Although she lived in Shreveport & we couldn't visit in person much, her daily emails and phone calls are something I will always treasure.  Her family is pictured above.  This photo was taken a couple of months prior to her death.  Jerry & kids---I'm praying for you this week!
Also this weekend, we will remember the loss of Andrew & Kourtney's mom, Kelly Reeves.  She died about 18 hours after Lisa on February 10, 2006.  Kelly's death was just as tragic as Lisa's---a life lost so early & young.  Kelly died from the injuries she sustained in a drunk driving accident.  Kelly's loss is great as well.  She left behind a husband of 5 (?) years (G) and two children, Andrew 8 & Kourtney 6.  On Saturday, after Samuel's basketball game, we will travel to Elkhart to remember Kelly.  We're going to the graveside to release balloons with messages to her attached, then we will go to the wreck site & place a white cross.  The kids are looking forward to this.
Sadly, as the day of Kelly's death anniversary draws near, it's more obvious that Kourtney mourns her loss and Andrew still struggles with recognizing that there is a loss.  He will tell you he misses his mom if you ask him about her, but more times than not, he acts like it's just another silly question you're asking.  When I reminded him last week that the 1 yr. anniversary was coming up, he asked if we were going to have a party to celebrate.  I'm sure he meant more along the lines of a memorial than a "celebration", but it was sort of an odd thing to ask still.  He asked if we'd have cake & balloons.  It just took me by surprise for him to ask that.  Please continue to pray for healing of their loss.

Monday Feb 5

This morning I discovered a great way to get in my workout for the day.  I set a kitchen timer for 30 minutes, got my step (from step aerobics) and my weights out, and put in a Casting Crowns CD.  For 30 minutes, I rotated between step, weights and floor work and had a good time listening to good music while praying & exercising.  This may finally be a way I can get it in!  Yahoo!
Some news on Andrew----
Over the year's time that he's been here, there have been at least 2 occasions that he said he asked Jesus into his heart at church.  Both times he seemed very confused afterward & couldn't really answer any questions when I asked him about it, so we just assumed that it wasn't "time" yet.
Yesterday morning when he got in the van after church, he told me that Chappy (our children's pastor) would be calling.  When I asked why, I was really thinking he'd gotten into trouble & I'd be getting a call about that....but he said it was because he'd asked Jesus into his heart.  We were driving down the road & there was a lot of chaos at the moment, so I told him I was proud of him and said we'd talk about it later on when we could really hear each other.  At bedtime last night, I had actually forgotten about it.  I know that sounds terrible, but he's done this several times now, so it's hard to know when it's for real.  He started telling me how Chappy had talked about the crucifixion.  He described some details that I don't think he'd heard before.  I asked him about asking Jesus into his heart & he couldn't really tell me any great details---just that he understood it now & hadn't before.  Some of his answers did seem really "adult", meaning he might've just been repeating things he'd heard a grown up say.  (I've found that he often repeats whatever he thinks I want to hear to make me happy only to find out later that he didn't have any idea what he was saying.)
We're going to talk about it more tonight w/ Larry.  Last night, it was 2 hours past his bedtime when I finally cut off the conversation & said "time for bed!"  I'll update later if there is more news to share on this!  Wouldn't it be cool if this is really "it" for him??!!