Thurs Sept 21 Revival (& pets!)

There are times in my Walk w/ the Lord that I experience a revival of sorts.  Sometimes that's a revival following some great service I was able to be a part of, or during/after an incredible Bible study.  Sometimes God reveals things to us along the way & just by the nature of our whole life & focus being driven to Him, we experience a refreshing & a renewal of our passion for Him.  That has happened for me lately.

In my marriage, I've always felt like (& Larry has always touted me to be) "the strong one" as far as faith is concerned.  I don't mean faith as in "being religious" or the 'faith' that the media refers to.... but faith in the true sense of the word---being able to trust God without concern for the 'earthy', 'visible' stuff.  Faith is "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen".   In many regards, I am that person.  I would LOVE to jump into foreign mission work headfirst without considering where we'd get money to survive on every month (b/c I'd just be trusting God to provide it!).  Larry, on the other hand, is the one who is going to think things out & panic about the idea of living on support only.  I'm the one who's looked at him during (our many) financial struggles & said "Ya know what?  Let's just pray about it.  God's always provided before, I'm sure He will again."  In some ways, that's a good thing, but in other ways, it can look "foolish" or "crazy" to anyone who is not sitting inside my brain in those moments....including my very analytically-thinking husband who thinks I've had just a bit too much of the Living Water sometimes-- after all, that's the only kind of drunk I will ever be.  :)  And ya know what?  After hearing people say things like that about you repeatedly, you begin to get a little puffed up & believe it about yourself.  But ya know, being prideful is a nasty thing.  While it's ok to recognize your strengths, it's not OK to feel like you're "above" others who have less faith....and unfortunately I've found myself doing that before.  (Forgive me?)

Just about seven months ago, God decided to rock my world in so many ways.  He removed one of the most precious gems that He ever placed on the earth from my life.  One of my dearest friends, Lisa Hardel, died suddenly after a several years-long struggle with Leukemia.  Lisa was 30 & left behind a husband and three young children (& leagues of friends!!).  I was devastated.  The following day, my sister in law died in a tragic car accident which left my brother in law in jail and their two children as the newest two members of my family.  While I was completely shocked by the whole thing & especially with the fact that it happened all at once, I felt like God would figure out all the details---and He has.  It took me several months to relax & come down off my adrenaline-induced-high and realize how crazy my life had become.  I mean, I knew it all along, but I was handling it from the outside in....trying to peer into the hearts & lives of my kids (all 5 of them) and figure out what needed to be done, who needed extra love & snuggles from day to day, who wanted which thing for breakfast.  You know, I was just being the mom & trying to figure out everyone's quirks & how we'd fit them all into one family unit together.   While that sort of perspective was certainly necessary to make the family 'work', God used several things to shuffle my foundations & make my ground a little unsteady in the past couple months.  All the sudden, this strong warrior of faith was scared, shaken, nervous & unsteady.  I think we all have times where we KNOW the "church answers", but need time to grieve or mourn or just work through things until we're ready to rest in God's arms again.  Usually I don't experience too many of those times b/c I am able to rest on my blessed assurance & just trust God for the outcome ........but for some reason, God did allow me to have my faith shaken in these past couple months.  And while I've had days of being an emotional wreck here & there, I'm grateful that He did it.

When we realize that our strengths are not always our strengths, and that we still must lean on God every second of every minute of every hour of every day just to get by, we cross a threshold.  When we seek not salvation or promises or favors but the Savior Himself, we step over a line.  Reaching that line, crossing that threshold is good for us.  We receive a fresh filling of the Spirit, our prayers become more powerful & annointed, our focus on the Lord is renewed.  Worship takes on a different level of beauty & awe.  When my life is changed, touched & renewed, it's a revival!  Thank you, Lord, for the revival in my heart these past couple of months!  You are GOOD!

 

And about the "pets" part of the title:

When we started building the bathroom, the kids were begging for a kitten.  We told them that we needed to finish the bathroom first & then we'd get a cat.  Well, the closer the bathroom got to being complete, the more I dreaded the idea of bringing a cat into the house.  After all, they shed, the litterbox stinks & needs daily scooping, and let's just be honest...my house's floor will NEVER be completely clear, so the cat would always be clawing something & destroying it.  There were several things that made me cringe & hope the kids forgot that we'd told them about getting a cat.  Well, I hoped they would anyway.  We no sooner had layed the last plank of flooring before they were asking where we'd put the litter box.  Oy!  We told them we needed to hold off a little while so that we could pay off this bill or that & then we'd talk about it again.  After all, part of the "deal" was that they kept their rooms clean & they sure hadn't done that consistently.  As time as gone on, the more I thought about it, the more I disliked the idea of having a cat in the house at all!  Larry & I started talking & decided on a dog instead!  We have a fenced in backyard, but there are several places in the fence that need a little work before we can reasonably take on the responsibility of putting a dog out there.  Soooo.....our plan is to get the fence fixed between now & Christmas & let a puppy be the "big gift" at Christmastime!  We do NOT want a hyper, bouncy, yippy dog.  We would most prefer a BIG dog....think Great Dane/St. Bernard/etc.  But if there were a calm, gentle dog of another size, we'd consider that, too.  We want to get a PUPPY specifically b/c Samuel has been terrified of dogs for years & is just now finally outgrowing that.  We think that he'd do well with a tiny little sweet puppy who he watches grow.  If the dog is not suddenly a big menacing thing, but slowly grows into a big protective sweetie, that would be perfect!  If you hear of anyone breeding a large, sweet dog who will have puppies at Christmastime, let me know!