Saturday, April 8, 2017

My statement about mental health:

I've thought through this post numerous times but haven't been able to figure out quite the right words or timing to post it. Tonight I'm just going to dive in & say what I'm thinking and I pray it comes out right. I pray that you read this and understand my heart.  I pray that you can really LISTEN and soak it in and absorb what I'm trying to say because it is so heavily, deeply, powerfully engraved on my heart.  This is something I am passionate about.

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For years now, 4 out of the 5 members of my household have struggled, in one way or another, with a mental health issue. I won't go into detail about which family member deals with which thing. That's personal & I will always strive to protect my family's dignity and safety.  If you know our family personally, you may know the details.  (And if so, please do not comment here with any specifics.  Join me in protecting our family!)  Or you may know us & have NO IDEA that we've been dealing with anything at all.  (If so, surprise!)

For years, I've watched people's reactions when they find out the facts about my family.  Learning that this person sees a psychiatrist....or that this one sees a counselor... or this one takes meds every day...or that one has been hospitalized...   Some nod and smile, hug and encourage, understanding full well the depth of what it's like to live with or support someone who deals with a brain chemistry imbalance. (Those people make me want to hug them & invite them into my inner circle for s'mores and late night talks.)  Others ask rude questions or insinuate it's "all in your head".  Others have pointed fingers & asked which side of the family has these issues---were they passed down through genetics?  Others have made a point to talk about how those with faith in their lives shouldn't be dealing with these things, that if we prayed enough or believed strongly enough, we wouldn't have these issues.  And still others turn up their nose, gasp in shock or otherwise cut us from their lives because they believe that somehow having a mental health illness/disorder/issue is something to be ashamed of.

As I type this tonight, I am looking back on the past 20 years of having one psychiatric drug or another in my medicine cabinet. Sometimes I've had a combination of several drugs in my medicine cabinet.  I have heard people compare mental health to other chronic illnesses-- diabetes or asthma, for example-- and they have talked about the similarities. Both require long-term medications, continual care by a doctor, potentially a hospitalization now & then to get back on track when things go awry, and taking care of oneself to prevent those "flare ups".  There is so much truth in all of that and I can appreciate the comparisons.

But here's the kicker:  no one looks at you funny if you have diabetes.  No one judges you if you have asthma.  No one thinks a person with Crohn's disease is a monster or somehow dangerous.  No one assumes that a person with Cystic Fibrosis is apt to 'snap' and hurt someone. There is no stigma attached to most chronic illnesses.  But there IS to persons who deal with mental illness.

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Why is that?

We all understand when a person has a heart problem that their heart is 'sick'. We all understand that diabetes means a person has a 'sick' pancreas.  We know that having asthma means having 'sick' lungs.  So why can't we accept that mentally ill people have a 'sick' brain?  Why can we understand that those conditions are medical in nature but we look at mental illness as some other sort of thing altogether. Why can't we as a society see that mental illness is just as much an illness, too?

The definition of mental illness I most often relate to people is a condition where the chemistry of the brain gets out of whack.  I know it is much more complicated than that, including all sorts of genetic, environmental, and biological factors.  And the conditions that fit the mental illness category are as diverse as can be, but most are classified by how they affect a person's mood, behavior and thinking. With all of them, you see a doctor, do testing before a diagnosis, take meds to help with the problem and go on about your life. None of these conditions were ones the person asked for.  None of them are the person's fault or were somehow 'caused' by a bad choice.  None of them were planned for or desired.  Most of the people affected have zero desire to spend their life in doctor's offices or taking a handful of medication every day....

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You know, JUST LIKE those who have diabetes, asthma, cystic fibrosis, crohn's and all the other chronic illnesses you can think of.... Image result for mental health stigma

It's time for us to do SOMETHING about this overwhelming, seemingly never-ending thing that  people have stuck in their heads about children and adults who have a mental illness.  STOP IT.  These conditions are very real, very hard to manage sometimes, very hard to 'own' (because of the stigma!), very hard for caregivers and family to support.  These conditions are no less medical in nature than all the other chronic illnesses I mentioned here.

I'm not sure I ever REALLY grasped all this before I was faced with it myself.  But, being face to face with individuals who are fighting daily to stay on top of their illness, I can tell you one thing for sure:

These persons are fully capable of living normal lives, looking just like you, going to school or work, carrying on a regular lifestyle, having successful relationships, embracing physical activities, becoming parents, caring for others, being members of the PTA, serving on the neighborhood watch team, teaching Sunday School and so much more.  I doubt you have any idea just how many people you interact with every single day who are dealing with things like anxiety, depression, PTSD, Bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, ADD/ADHD, eating disorders, PPD, SAD, Disassociative Disorders, phobias and on & on & on.

Seriously, let's put this 'second class citizen' treatment to rest.  A person with mental illness is no less human, no less capable of emotion than anyone else.  So dig up your compassion glasses & put them on.  It's time to stop the ignorance and the awful stigma.  After all, can you tell which of these people suffers from a mental health condition & which do not?


Leslie Rasco said...

Thank you!

Jenny said...

Same boat - have dealt with serious mental health issues with a child long term and it's so much harder than the physical ones.

Lizze said...

God bless you, your husband and your children in this journey. My mom and siblings have all struggled with very serious mental illnesses and it has been a long fight. Praise the Lord you have Jesus and a loving family as support, the mental health professionals to counsel and prescribe the right medications, and I pray for your family that you continue to share your journey and help those that are also struggling

MammaT said...


I think part of the stigma around mental health issues is that nearly EVERYONE has one, is closely related to someone who has one, or has one (did I say that twice? It wasn't an accident.) And are afraid of their own experience(s) with it. It's like eyeglasses. Wearers, especially in school, used to be called "four eyes" or some other taunt; now they're almost as commonplace as blue eyes, but they're also (usually?) pretty available to those in need. I think that if mental health care was provided as a form of HEALTH care, the stigma would start to die down.

Now, as for Cystic Fibrosis (CF), it is soooooo not uncommon for patients to be told that if they:
"Just had more faith", "prayed harder", "ate more *something*", "ate less *something*", "didn't go to the doctor so much" (so they wouldn't be poisoned by hearing bad news about themselves), "quit putting all these (ahem, life preserving) medicines into their bodies", "quit carrying oxygen thus over oxygenating themselves" (30% lung function will just learn how to give the body sufficient o2 if you make it try, you know)... If they "sin less", "drink less", "smoke less" (ok, that one has a very good point, still not a cure), "take more vitamins". etc, etc, etc, they will be cured! (Let us add you to our prayer circle. Come join us and we'll lay hands on you to strike out the evil demon of CF!).
If they pay less attention to their disease, they'll forget about it and be able to live healthy, normal, active lives without all of the meds and doctors....... I guess CF is a mental illness too? (Thank everything that it's covered by health care.)

Wishing you all the best and a wonderful Spring.

ladycoraline said...

All the best!

Courtney said...

Thank you for drawing light to mental health it’s sad that we have experienced very little help in this area and have been on a waitlist to see a psychiatrist for 6 months. It is truly tragic that there is very little help for those in need.