Update on Savannah

Several of you have asked about what kind of medicine Savannah takes.  She is on Zoloft for Anxiety.  Sorry...I guess I assumed everyone could read my mind & already knew that.  I suppose some of you do, but I can't remember who knows what about us or where you came into our lives along the path, so feel free to ask questions.  Let me see if I can briefly catch you all up!

 

Savannah was a very difficult baby/toddler.  Even as an infant, I knew something was wrong.  I could never put my finger on it, though.  Call it Mother's Intuition or whatever, but I knew there was something going on with my baby girl.  She's always been extremely emotional, very high and very low dips.  I remember telling the doctor that she's either here (with my hand wayyyy up over my head) or here (with my hand down by my knees)...there's no in between.  At one point, I questioned whether she might be Bipolar because of the extremes in her moods.  Of course, when you know there is something "up" with your child, you read everything you can get your hands on & so we considered a lot of things in all the research we did during those early years--- Sensory Integration problems, Asperger's (high functioning autism), ADD, bipolar, Oppositional Defiance, OCD....lots of things.  We kept plugging forward trying to figure out what was up with our little lady, watching her develop along the way.  I remember being AMAZED when she finished her very first church Christmas program--she'd actually made it through the program without freaking out & breaking down to cry on the stage.  I sat there in the service with tears running down my cheeks, and then went to hide in the bathroom because I had to 'get it all out'.  People just didn't understand how HUGE of a thing it was for her to do that.  It was a major victory in my book.  When she was 7, things really hit the "we've GOT to find out what's going on" point.  She was in 2nd grade, having numerous daily panic attacks in school, completely melting down over the most minor issues, saying she wanted to die, crying at the drop of a hat.  She became painfully shy (especially in school) & very introverted.  It was so hard to watch her like that b/c she looked like she was dying inside every day.  When her glasses broke, she walked around with her hands over herface because she was fearful of what people would say about her face without her glasses.  She was really obsessed with it so we got the glasses fixed as quickly as possible, but that meant taking her to school a little late (after we got them fixed).  She was panicked that she'd fail the entire grade for going to school late that one day!  There were times when she'd curl into a ball on her bed & sob for 2 solid hours over accidentally tearing a piece of paper.  She was a SEVERE perfectionist, needing everything around her to be totally "in line" all the time.  (That's when we considered whether or not she might be OCD).  When it started effecting her ability to function normally, we knew it was time to figure out what was going on.  We found an psychiatrist who is awesome with her!  We sat & watched him interview her and it just about killed us.  She sat on his couch, pulling off the cushions to build a little "wall" around herself.  She sat inside the pillow cushions to answer questions & if a pillow fell, she would retrieve it & put it back in place before she could continue talking.  It was like she had to have that little protective barrier in place to feel comfortable talking.  When she finally came out of her couch cushion "fort", she came over & curled up in my lap and hid her face in my hair to finish talking to him.  It was as if she was scared of talking without some sort of 'security' there next to her.  It was so painful to see our child like that, but it was also very eye-opening.  She described fears of me dying, fears of tornadoes (we'd never had a tornado or even much of a strong storm, so that was a surprise), fears of all sorts of things that we were really suprised by.  Anyway, I could go on & on, but what it boils down to is that she was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  She does have some OCD habits, but they're not severe & don't really effect her ability to function in normal situations.  This page describes her soooo well (how she is without meds), I'll just let ya read it:  Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

 

And so, since she was 7, she's taken Zoloft.  It's been such a sweet transformation to watch her respond to the meds.  What a HUGE difference Zoloft has made in her life!!  She's able to cope with things sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much better & able to deal with day to day life normally.  Every now & then, however, we have to experiment a little & see how she does without the medicine (or at least with a smaller dose).  When A&K moved in, she was under a TON of pressure & stress, so we temporarily up'd her dose to help her get through that, but by about 6 months into it, we were able to lower it again.  The last time we tried to wean her off the medicine, it was a complete disaster.  That was 2 years ago, so we're trying again.  The trouble is, puberty will either make her anxiety tons better or tons worse.  The wild & crazy hormones will either trigger her brain to start producing enough seratonin ........ or they will mess with her brain chemisty even further & the anxiety could turn into full blown depression.  Unfortunately, all of this is hereditary.  Larry's side of the family all deal with anxiety and/or depression, so it's not going to just go away.  She won't ever entirely outgrow it & it's very likely that her children will deal with it, too.  We're praying that puberty will bring a great reduction in her anxiety symptoms!

 

We're now at the end of the 2nd week with her at a 1/2 dose.  The first week was questionable---she was very weepy & moody, but that seemed to 'level out' at the end of the week.  The 2nd week has mostly been good, but the last couple of days have left me wondering.  By the afternoon/early evening, it's like the 1/2 a pill dose has worn off & she spends the evenings crying over the littlest things.  Today she got upset about something & just couldn't calm down.  She wasn't throwing a fit/tantrum...she just couldn't relax after getting upset.  An hour later, she was still sniffling & sucking air (as we call it...you know that short, fast sucking-in sound kids make when they're crying).  Maybe her body had enough of the med built up in her system to get through that first week without too much trouble....and now it's down to just what she takes each day (which might not be enough?).  I don't know.  I'm not a doc, but it makes sense to me in my head!  I'm going to give her a few more days & if this pattern of losing it in the afternoons continues, I'm going to call the doc & get his opinion.  He said Icould call if I had a question/concern, so I think I just might.  I don't want to still be doing this (wondering whether it's working or not) when we leave for vacation.  I'd rather know what we're doing by then!

 

On an upside------we registered Savannah for dance today!  She's taking Jazz (only).  She's very excited to get started again!  We're hoping that Sarah will watch Savannah's dance class & decide she wants to take dance again, too.  She did SUCH a good job last year (especially twirling) so I hate to see her give it up entirely, but she's determined (for now anyway) that she doesn't want to do it this year.  She can still jump in later if she changes her mind....so we'll see.

 

Whew....I guess this is enough of a novel for now, so I'll hush.  Sleep well!  It's bedtime!