I could never be a criminal! :)

On Wednesday, we were busy & forgot to put our trashcans out for pick-up.  That wasn't too big of a deal on Wednesday, but now that it's Friday night and our trashcans are all full, it is a bigger issue.  We fill roughly 1 trashbag per day so we've got a bit of a problem on our hands since trash day is still several days from now.  Knowing that we can't stack the bags on top of the trashcans (b/c the neighborhood cats would get into them), tonight we realized that we would have to "do something".

 

Coming from his criminal justice background, Larry handed me the bag tonight & said "Take it somewhere & get rid of it."  Now, I realize that I was just hearing things, but in my head, I heard something akin to "take the body & get rid of it".  I was on my way out to the store to get some milk when he handed me 'the bag'.  I reminded him that most businesses frown upon people putting trash into their dumpsters--and I felt sure it was illegal or something, but he told me that my 1 bag of trash wouldn't be a big deal & to just go do it.  Somehow, I just knew that the cops would be watching me 'make the drop' tonight, and so I set off on my covert criminal mission feeling paranoid & nervous.

 

I felt so sneaky tossing the bag of trash into the back of the van to make the trek to a dumpster under the cover of darkness.  I couldn't think of any business in town who wouldn't have lots of lights & cameras watching me, so I knew I'd have to find something dark & be quick about it.

 

My first stop was the local Baptist church less than a mile from the house.  From the road, I could see their dumpster sitting at the back of their parking lot, wide open.  Hooray!  That wasn't so hard!  So I pull into the driveway & approach the dumpster.  As I get closer I realize there is a big rig parked next to it w/ the engine running.  No doubt some scary driver was spending his night on the church parking lot.  I was far too paranoid to get out of the van alone in the dark & walk right up beside the big truck (after all, the driver would either A-jump out & grab me to kill me or B-call the cops & report some weird lady throwing her trash in the dumpster, right?) so I drive away in search of a new site for the scene of my crime.

 

My next stop is the library, but I realized after I got there that they don't have a dumpster!  Ugh.  The YMCA is right behind the library & it hit me that it was past closing time for them, so that ought to be perfect!  I made the short drive to the YMCA & spot the dumpster.  Ah-ha!  That's where I'll toss the trash, I think to myself.  Just as I pull up along side it, an employee pulls into the parking lot.  Unsure of whose headlights I'm seeing at first, I quickly turn around to leave (because after all, the trucker at the church may've called the cops on me, ya know?).

 

So I move on down the road, wracking my brain on where I can dump the trash.  There's a set of apartments in town with a big Christmas lights display!  I could go there & "pretend" to be looking at the lights & no one would ever know if I lived there or not.  (Ack...see how quickly the criminal mindset rubs off on me--I'm justifying my crime & coming up with alibi's already!!??)  I headed that direction & then realized that I'd be passing another church on the way!  When I reached the church, I pulled into their parking lot & spotted the scene of my drop.  All I had to do is make it past the church van (there's bound to be dumpster security guards hiding in there, after all!).  Those last 20 feet or so, I thought I had made it free & clear.  And then it happened..........the sign was there.

 

In bold letters, right there on the dumpster's front it says "For church use only".  Now if I use this one, I have to feel like a criminal & a sinner!  What to do...what to do...

 

And so, as I threw my bag of trash into the dumpster, I told Jesus I was sorry for my unlawful behavior.  I ran back to the van & drove away to get my milk at Brookshire's feeling so guilty.

 

When I told Larry all this when I got home, he kept laughing & holding his sides.  I guess he found it all funny.  LOL.........hope you did, too.