Friday, April 17, 2009

Another church visit update!

Just to clarify things:
Rose Heights (RH) is the church we just left
Bethel (B) is the church we attended before RH (I've also referred to Bethel as our "old-old" church.)
AG is the church we visited Wednesday night.

I'm sure you remember my post after leaving RH, stating that we planned to go back to B because we were comfortable there, have a history & relationships there, etc. We went to B last Sunday morning (Easter) and left feeling great about it! Early this week, however, Savannah expressed a fear/nervousness about going to B on Wed night for youth group because she doesn't know anyone there. The other kids had both said similar things--that they didn't know anyone there-- earlier in the week. Larry & I started talking & feeling like maybe we'd pushed our visit to B a little too much. Perhaps he & I loved the church, but needed to consider that the kids didn't love it as much as we did because they were too young to remember the people there. Maybe the kids should be allowed to visit somewhere here in our little town so that they would be more likely to meet kids from school.

And so, on Wednesday night, we went to AG. Samuel LOVED it and the rest of my family left feeling "ok" about it. They enjoyed it, but they weren't jumping up & down excited about it. I, on the other hand, felt like every nerve in my body was firing when we walked out. There wasn't a particular specific thing that I could point to and say "I didn't like THIS", but I felt like God was screaming to me at the top of His lungs "This is NOT the place!!!!". I didn't want to disappoint the kids or Larry by not liking the place, but it took every ounce of my being to remain seated throughout the service & not running screaming from the building. The people were nice, the lesson was good, everyone welcomed us....but still, God was shoving me out the door long before it was open for me to walk through. After the kids went to bed that night, I broke down crying & told Larry that I just couldn't go back. The way I left there feeling was too overwhelming for me to let go of. He told me that he trusts my instincts & would not ask me to return to a place that left me feeling that strongly. He's friends of the pastor & while we like him & enjoyed his teaching, it's just not the right place for us.

And interestingly enough, after attending a closer church for the sole reason of helping the kids to meet more school friends at church, it turns out that of all three kids, only 1 of our kids saw someone from school. He saw ONE friend from school. Everyone else was new. So our plan didn't hold water!

(Well......let me take that back. Savannah saw 1 girl she recognized as well, but this same girl is one that Savannah had to turn in to the principal recently at school, one who had threatened to beat her up & clearly, that would not be a friendship we'd want her to pursue!)

So Larry & I talked about churches & the kids programs at all the churches we had considered visiting. No matter what church we go to, Sunday School will be pretty much the same -- a lesson, a game or some fun activity to back up the lesson. Children's church will be about the same -- fun music & a lesson of some kind. Wednesday night programs may vary in title, but they'll all be similar --- games, a lesson, maybe a snack. And for Savannah, youth groups will all be similar as well -- loud music, some weird kids/some normal kids, snacks, fun activities, day trips to places like Six Flags, etc. We also discussed the fact that no matter where we go, the kids will have to adjust to new people, new teachers, make new friends....so unless they are teaching something reallyyyyyy weird, ultimately the decision should belong to Larry and I as far as which church we choose.

Because Larry & I love B (our old-old church) so much, we've decided to go back there. And stay. The kids will be fine. After attending SS & services there for a couple weeks, they'll meet people and start settling in, just like they would anywhere else!

We're looking forward to getting back into Bethel and to meeting all the new people who've joined since we left 4 1/2 years ago. I'm so excited!!!! I hate church 'shopping', so figuring this out & being settled on it so quickly feels GOOD!

1 comment:

terri said...

When we went to Bethel, there were just a few WH kids there. But, it gave us a chance to meet people outside their school friends, so that was cool. Give it some time - it's a hard adjustment/change and your kids are great - they'll do fine. :)