Another good day. With each passing day, things seem to get smoother & work out a little easier. The kids continue to progress in understanding our household routines, rules, etc. Today's entry is mostly about Andrew.
Slowly....very slowly I'm seeing Andy's walls coming down. He's a really agressive, vocal kiddo when he's upset, but the rest of the time he is real quiet. Today he's been a little more so than he was previously. He seems to be growing a little more attached to me as time passes...sort of a quiet recognition of me as a "mama type person" in his life. It's hard to explain, but there is something sweet developing here, and I really love it. :) I helped him with his homework this afternoon & watching his eyes light up as he "got it" was so neat. I helped him take a bath tonight & wash his hair. He's such a grown up man in a little boy's body....but helping him bathe didn't seem to phase him a bit. Tonight when I was telling the boys goodnight, I bent down & kissed his cheek & gave him a little squeeze. I don't want to force myself on him being all lovey dovey if he's not ready for that. I stood up & hugged/kissed Samuel (on the top bunk). Samuel said "Did you give Andrew a kiss?". I said yes, but Andrew corrected me...he wanted an actual kiss! I went back & was acting silly, smothering him with kisses all over his cheeks when he grabbed onto me & hugged me close, almost like he was scared & needed a hug. I sat there with him & just hugged for a little while. I waited for him to be the one to let go.....when he did, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. Sweet boy.......
He's been coughing some, but I figure moving into a new house with new laundry soap & stuff will take their little systems a while to get used to, so I'm not too worried about it yet. I went in to give him some cough/cold medicine tonight. He was sitting up in bed, just staring into space like he was lost in thought. I asked what he was thinking about & he said nothing. I asked if he was thinking about his mom & dad & he said no. I asked if he thinks about them much & he just shrugged. I told him how much I love him & that I was there if he decided he wants to talk about his mom & dad. He gave me a half-grin & nodded before laying back down.
By the inspiration of little Andrew, I was listening to Nichole Nordeman's Brave CD tonight. Here are the words to her title song on this CD. Sure seems fitting:
The gate is wide, the road is paved in moderation. The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in. Welcome to the middle ground. You're safe and sound and Until now it's where I've been. 'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything. But it's been love, your love, that cuts the strings. CHORUS: So long status quo. I think I just let go. You make me want to be brave. The way it always was is no longer good enough. You make me want to be brave. Brave, brave. I am small and I speak when I'm spoken to, but I am willing to risk it all. I say your name, just your name and I'm ready to jump, even ready to fall....Why did I take this vow of compromise? Why did I try to keep it all inside? CHORUS I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame. Every storm will start with just a drop of rain. But if you believe in me, that changes everything! CHORUS
I love you, Andrew. Biological or not, you will always be my sweet boy.
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