The past week has been 'trying'. Many things have transpired, most of which I'd rather not post details of here. This is why I haven't been posting. I'm sorry to those who follow our journal daily & have been wondering where we are!
But God is good. As always, He spends all His time chasing us around, offering grace & love and showing us His faithfulness while we fret & wring our hands & wonder what is to become of things. I am not typically one to get nervous & worried, but this week I did. Forgive me, Lord, for losing sight of You for a time. You were always there, but I took a minute to peer down at the water & I sunk for a while. I'm so glad to be back in your arms now that a little time has passed.
This week, we received a packet of information from M.A.D.D. (Mothers Against Drunk Driving). In the packet, there were 2 grief workbooks for children. I've been working through those with the kids & they seem to enjoy them. I can tell, already, that they will be valuable & helpful. The kids look forward to working in the books every night at bedtime.
This week, I overheard a conversation that Andrew was having with Kourtney that made me smile. I believe he's finally "got" the idea that he & Kourtney will be with us long-term. I had wondered, until now, if he really understood. They were in the backseat of the van & I was in the front, so I didn't hear the whole thing, but I heard him tell her: "Kourtney, you will be about 15 years old before daddy gets out of jail." I don't smile because I'm glad that this has all happened, but I'm glad that they're beginning to grasp things better.
Kourtney continues to rotate between "mama" & "Aunt Liz" for me, most often calling me "Aunt Liz". This morning in the van, she was sitting behind me drawing a picture in her notebook & was chattering away to herself. It finally struck me that she was saying "Mama....Mama? Mama! Mama....." so I answered her (to see if she was talking to me) & she began telling me about the picture she was drawing. I guess I need to get used to listening for that more often. :)
A sweet note about Andrew--- last night, in his grief workbook, he filled in a page that looks like a family tree. Instead of filling in family names, you're supposed to put the names of people who love you & are there to help when he has a problem or needs to talk. When I went in to turn off the lamp, I read some of the names & saw mine, Larry's Savannah's, Eli (a friend at church), Chappy (our children's pastor), Milam (his teacher at school), Randall (his principal), a few other friends' names, his soccer coach, and most importantly... GOD!
Savannah has really struggled this week with her anxiety. She's been on a stressed-out tear in the afternoons all week long. I pray that she will calm down a bit next week. I sure could use a calmer baby girl.
Sarah is still having a tough time with everything. She loves playing w/ Kourtney & seems to like she & Andrew just fine....she's just sad that she doesn't get as much of my attention as she used to. I'm sad about that for her, too, and am trying to make as much one-on-one time with her as possible.
Samuel is still taking everything like a trooper! Our sweet little soldier, always the sunshine in every room. :)
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