I've been trying to wrap my brain around something & figure out how to type it here for a few days now. I guess I'm just not sure how to approach it because the last time we had something like this happen, I followed my gut and ended up offending some people & had to remove & edit a post because of it. It wouldn't be such a big deal if I didn't care what those people thought...but I DO care and it bothered me to upset them. So I'm tip-toeing a little bit here and I hope that I handle this better.
If you've been reading here for any length of time at all, you'll know that I have been pretty open about our financial struggles. I try to be transparent here without necessarily giving away any information that could put our safety in jeopardy. Like I've said here (about a million times), I love it when people are real. I hate to see plastic smiles & fakeness. If you're having a crappy day & I ask you how you're doing, please don't say "I'm fine". Tell me what's going on. Let's sit & talk about it. Let's pray together. Let's cry together. Let me be a shoulder for you to lean on. I would much prefer you take up my time and share your reality with me than to walk away carrying your pain & struggles all by yourself. And I guess I just assume that everyone else feels the same way. So I unload a little bit on this blog. If you don't like that, I'm sure you've exited my posts before or you're just not reading here at all. And if that's the case, it's OK. We all have our comfort zones.
But since I know there are some people who have read about our struggles and care about our family, I wanted to update you. This is for those of you who have emailed me or found me on Facebook & sent me inbox messages....those of you who've tiptoed up to my doorstep & left grocery bags full of food or called & said "Are you out of milk? I'm at the store & it's on sale. I'll get you a gallon." ....those of you who've pulled off other sorts of sneakiness to bless our family... and especially for those of you who've been on your knees for us. You know who you are.
It brings me to my knees to even attempt to put all the very hard lessons we've learned in the past 8-9 months into words. They have been deep and amazing and powerful. Struggling, begging for God's help month after month, waiting on Him. Finding myself in His presence, soaking in His word, being pressed by Him to take leaps of faith here & there. There are no words to adequately explain what it means to be that deeply grasped in His hands....held tightly & having my forehead kissed by my Savior...wow.
But God showed up last week & said "Watch this!" Without going into details, we were blessed. God met our needs in a way we never expected. Before I go any further, take a moment to hit "play" on this video, and then scroll down so that you can hear the music...but keep reading.
I can't even express my gratitude at this point -- it's too big. I drove to the grocery store on the night we received this blessing & kept trying to pray but found myself speechless. Being overwhelmed is what the Spirit does best, though. I listened to worship songs, I wiped tears from my cheeks and I said 'thank you' about a thousand times. Truly, I feel like I'm ALIVE AGAIN.
I know that finally getting ahead of the game doesn't mean that life will be easy from here on out. I am finding myself on my face, praising Him, over & over again. I am so excited to be in a position where we can give & help others! THAT is truly what this season is about and we are giddy to be able to do that a little this year instead of worrying about what we'll feed the kids on Christmas Day. To be able to put a little money into savings instead of worrying about whether or not the account is "too overdrawn" to put gas in the van. I am thrilled & stand in awe of Him today. How great is our God?
Isaiah 43:9 says "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."
Oh those streams in the desert wasteland! My parched soul is quenched....my heart is fluttering...God is doing a new thing in me! Oh happy day!