Life around here these days....

I wrote this to a friend this morning & realized after writing it that I'd pretty much summed up our lives these days.  I've had so many people question how "things" are going now that we're nearing the 1 year mark.  I guess this is my answer:

 

Life is finally beginning to settle down here.  I hate chaos & it makes me crazy...so having things finally starting to feel "calm" is good.  We'll never be the same family we were before Feb 10, 2006, but that's ok.  In some ways that's a good thing---we've all had to learn hard life lessons & learn how to extend grace a little further.  We've all learned things we never would have learned without A&K moving in.  In some ways it's not so good, though...things are forever altered.  In many ways, I long for the days when I "just" had 3 kids.  Back then, I didn't have to worry about watching my tongue when I said something about a "bad guy" in jail.  Now days, I have to realize that many of those "bad guys" have a family and it hurts to hear someone say their relative is a horrible monster.  (Not that I ever worded it exactly like that, but you know what I mean.)  But then again, when the (bio) kids are all grown, they're going to look back & realize what a rich time this was in their lives---how much of a blessing it was to be able to give of their time & home to two kids who desperately needed a home and strong family.  I hope that A&K look back & remember this time in their lives with fondness, too.  Andrew & Kourtney are not "cure-able" in a lot of ways.  There are things that they have lived through that will never ever ever be erased from their minds/hearts and that shapes who they are.  However, I've seen them grow & change so much in the past year.  Life here is stretched & changed & altered, but we're alright.  We're moving on, we're moving forward, and God is covering us every step of the way.  We laugh a lot now.  We go places & enjoy the funny stares we get from people trying to figure out HOW I gave birth to 3 kids within 10 1/2 months.  It's always fun to see the people watch us enter a restaurant or doctor's office -- you can see them mentally counting & saying "How many kids do they have?".  LOL!  I get the "are they all yours?" question a lot these days.  If it's a stranger who doesn't really matter...I just say YES.  In fact, for some people who aren't strangers I just say yes.  Much easier than trying to tell the whole story.  Anyway.....life is beginning to resemble some sort of normal again, and I'm so glad.

 

 

Life really *is* beginning to fall into place.  We go out to eat, go to the movies, go to church & the park.  We have chores & bedtime routines & a dog to take care of.  We go visit relatives & go on vacation in the summer.  We swim & ride bikes & watch TV.  We live in southern smalltown America where our neighborhood is a little community all in itself and the kids (all of them!) love that.  Sure, we deal with medicines & counselors & psychologists now.  We've added to our lives jail visits & graveside tears & ADHD & lots and lots of noise.  I'm on email lists for older kid adoptions & we've read lots of books about parenting foster/adoptive kids.  Sibling fights & arguments over who sits where in the car are a daily battle here.  But that's life in our family.  Is it hard?  Heck yeah!  Are A&K still difficult to parent?  Holy moley, yes!  Do I regret bringing them into our home & wish we hadn't done it?  No way.  I would not be able to live with myself and I would forever worry & wonder about them had we not brought them home with us.  They may've grown in the belly of my sister in law, but they've been growing in my heart for years.  Having them under my roof has been challenging, but rewarding.  Like I said, it'll never be the same, but that's alright.  Two little smiling, giggling, teasing faces make it all worth it.

 

I love you, Andrew & Kourtney!  (and Savannah, Samuel & Sarah)  No matter where life may lead you, you will always be my babies.