This is the stuff...

A couple of months ago, I heard this song for the first time & thought it was "cute" at best, but not exactly highly 'spiritual'.

And then October 2011 happened..........

I spent the last half of September feeling compelled, urged, nudged, convicted (whatever you want to call it) to tithe when October 1st rolled around. I argued with God & tried to ignore Him. I explained to Him why we couldn't afford to tithe. I attempted to point out the balance in our checkbook because I figured He was busy & hadn't had a chance to look at those numbers. (ha ha) But He kept tapping my shoulder with an outstretched palm, asking me to give Him what is His. So when October 1st came, I wrote the check & ran to the mailbox to get it out of my hands as quick as possible. After all, if I kept it in my hands for very long I'd get nervous about it & change my mind.

So we tithed this month. For the first time in a couple of years. And then life happened.

I was all into the cool things God was doing for us at the beginning of the month. I was happy to point out each little blessing that went our way to my "team" of girlfriends who were praying me through this leap of faith (tithing). I shared with them every time I found a nickel on the ground or got an unexpected refund in the mail. I was all about the silver linings & rainbows & unicorns & warm fuzzies early in the month. And then we ran out of money in the bank by the 15th. Our tithe check hit the bank & overdrew the account. Ouch. And while I could explain further, I'll just say that God showed up & provided. We haven't had one single need this month that went unmet. (Why does this always amaze me?)

And somehow, we've made it to the end of the month with peace about our finances. We're still overdrawn and we will still go into November with a deficit but despite that, I am hearing Larry & I both echo the same sentiment over & over "It's okay....God's going to take care of us." Mid-month, you would've heard both of us express much different feelings.

And then life happened some more.

In the past six months or so, my sweet husband has commented several times about feeling disconnected from our church body & leadership. No one has done ANYTHING wrong or treated him poorly, he just hasn't been able to bond with anyone. Of course, he was only attending on Sunday mornings & going home. If you aren't plugged in to a ministry or a Bible study group, it's really hard to feel "at home" in a church. I convinced him to try to get involved with the men's group he was a part of years ago when we were at this same church the 1st time. I felt like if he would find a core group of friends/men that he really connected with, it would make him feel a lot more connected to the church. He tracked down one of the members, found out what book they're studying right now & jumped back in. It means getting up way before dawn once a week to meet with them, but he loved it all those years ago and in the past 2-3 weeks that he's gone, he has fallen in love with this group again. He told me last night that he wishes he'd done this a long time ago.

On Thursday when he got sick, he had been to that Bible study group early in the morning. 8 hours later, he was in the hospital. The leader of the group called my cell phone that night & prayed for Larry with me. On Friday, EVERY SINGLE MAN in that group came to visit Larry at the hospital or called to check on him. On Friday, the pastors called & visited. Church members called, emailed & came by to check on him. Not because they had to, but because they love him & wanted to see if he was OK or if they could do anything for us. On Friday, my precious husband felt more loved & cared for by our church than he has in the 2 1/2 years we've been going there.

I heard this song again last night & it struck me in a whole new way. Then today a girlfriend of mine commented about the difficult past year she's had & said she sure wouldn't have ever chosen the path she's walked, but God has walked through it with her and she's learned lessons she would've never learned any other way. How true that is for us as well. Her statement reminded me of the chorus of this song. "It might not be what I would choose, but this is the stuff you use!"

Oh my, how He's used some "stuff" this month.


"This is the Stuff" by Francesca Batistelli
I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation

It's not the end of the world

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use